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2001-09-10 - 7:07 p.m. Mondays are hard. This Monday was surprisingly painless, however. I had a nice weekend that went way too quickly but it was worth it. Saturday was Lucia's wedding and it was great. Everything went smoothly and she looked beautiful. The bridesmaids, including me, looked pretty good too. :) It was very romantic having Justin there with me. It really made me reevaluate all of the doubts I had been having about us because when I saw her get married the first thing I thought was not how I want to get married (I really don't right now) but how I wanted to marry JUSTIN in the future. So I don't know. He was feeling the same way, I could tell. The only thing weird about the whole thing is now my best friend is married. I have known her since first grade. We haven't really been that close for awhile but I still feel the same about her. Lately it has been more her than me that has been not trying to be closer. I've been trying but I don't know. I feel like I am always rejected in some ways. Part of that is my insecurity and her lack of insecurities to realize. She has never been one to talk about feelings very much. We are almost complete opposites in so many ways. She has always been the loud one and I have always been the quiet and shy one. She is short, I am tall, she is blonde, I am brunette. She doesn't get hurt feelings easily while I am a big mess with feelings. I could go on...but my point is that now she is married and has a baby and those things only serve to bring us farther apart. I also have a few issues with her marrying this guy. They had been dating less than a year when she got pregnant and they decided to keep the baby and were thrilled. The thing about it was that her first year of college she met this guy, Jeff. Jeff and her started going out and moved in together the second year of college (when she dropped out and started going to community college). At first I wasn't sure about him but I grew to really like him. He is completely fun and cool. They went through A LOT together. Then, one time I emailed her. Jeff answered the email and told me that Lucia had moved out and was now living with another guy named Jeff. What?!?!!? That was the new guy that she just married. I guess what happened was they grew apart and Lucia was friends with Jeff #2. She decided to move out and in with Jeff #2 as a friend (though I am guessing Jeff #2 had more on his mind) then started dating him soon after. Then they had the baby, who is now 5 months old, and now just got married. Jeff #1 was left in the dust. Unbelievably, Jeff #1 cared so much about Lucia even directly after it happened that they stayed good friends. Jeff #1 now has a new girlfriend (who he just moved in together with) and the three of them are friends. Jeff #1 and new girlfriend were at the wedding. Girlfriend was also at the baby shower and bridal shower. WHAAAT??!?! Had I been in Jeff #1's position I would have kicked Justin to the curb as a friend. No way. They had been together something like 2+ years when she moved out. Anyway, I like Jeff #2 and all, but Jeff #1 is awesome. I was hanging out with him at the wedding and kept thinking about how he was the one that got away (for Lucia). I kept wondering how he was feeling because he and Lucia had been planning on getting married the summer following the one where she moved out. Jeff #1 seems to think he was as much to blame as anyone because after he got out of school he couldn't get a job and was super depressed. Hello, that is a valid reason to be depressed--you don't just leave someone because they are suddenly a downer. Oh well. Half of me was like, "Why didn't I get together with Jeff #1?" But of course Lucia's ex boyfriend would not be a good person for me to go after. I actually think she wouldn't care considering she is like new best friends with his current girlfriend. It would be way too weird though. The nice thing about how I have things set up in my classroom is that Wednesday is "Ms. Boombastic's Reading Day." This is a quiet day that everyone spends reading a book of their own choice. I got a grant so I have a million different books. Last year this kid James, said to me in the library, "I hear you have a lot of cool books in your room." You can't tell me how happy that made me to hear. At first it was like reading day was this lame thing but as the year went on it was the kids' favorite day. It was especially nice seeing the contrast when the new kids came in at the semester. I only then really noticed how the other kids had stopped complaining about journals and reading day when I saw the new kids complaining about it. Other kids actually said things like, "Well I like reading day." That kid, James, is now in my class and the first thing he asked me was if he could read my 2pac book. It is a book of poetry 2pac wrote when he was 17 or something. This is a very popular book. Unfortunately, the 2pac book "disappeared." I am ordering a new one tonight. Oh, but back to my point. Reading day is Wednesday so it is nice for me because it is like I have a break in the middle of the week. I know I have to get through Monday and Tuesday and then it is a day to relax for all of us. Then only Thursday and Friday. I don't know if I could get through the week without Reading Day. I am really enjoying the sophomores so far. They are still little but they don't complain much (yet?) like juniors and seniors often do. They also seem like they are more willing to do what I ask (they write silently when I ask them to--last year the juniors and seniors could not keep their mouths closed during writing times). But I know I am still in the "honeymoon" period so they could be nightmares later. One kid already got suspended for five days for fighting. They still let him come to my class today though (?) I had my first IEP meeting and luckily it was a kid I had last year so I actually knew about him and could talk about things for him to work on. Everyone seemed so grateful to me for coming to the meeting. Hello, that's my job. I hate it that other teachers blow off the IEP meetings sometimes. It is so rare that you get to sit with other teachers and parents and talk about individual kids (except if you're me since I had so many special ed kids last year). This kid really improved 100% last year too. I had him go from never coming to class to coming every day and I actually got him (toward the end) to bring a pencil to class the majority of the time and turn in his work the majority of the time. He has something like Tourettes Syndrome and ADD so when he decided to go off medication at the beginning of the year it was not exactly a good situation. Beowulf got to a really boring part today, which was depressing. Hopefully we finish it tomorrow because it can get really repetitive. I want to give a test on Thursday or Friday. Last year I didn't believe in tests (papers and projects only) but I want to try it out this year simply because I felt like sometimes they didn't take me seriously about needing to know things. I don't know. We'll see how it goes. I don't even know how to write a test. I had quizzes here and there and I did have a final exam for the juniors but it was very much essay based--just write it in class. They did really well on it though so it made me think that there is a way to test fairly. We'll see how it goes. It will mainly be essay based of course. Hopefully tomorrow will go well. I feel on top of planning this year but already behind on grading. I hate grading!!!!
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