One of the rules I made for myself when I started this online diary thang was this: Ms. Boombastic, you will not talk about your boring ass dreams in your diary because no one wants to hear about them. You know you hate hearing about other people's boring dreams in their diaries, so you know no one wants to hear about yours. Another one of the rules I made for myself was this: Ms. Boombastic, you will not talk about your sex life in your online diary. Although at one point in your life you wrote embarrassing accounts of every detail of your sex life in your diary, no one is coming to your diary for a porno. Now, the most important rule: Ms. Boombastic, you will not talk about your period in your diary. You don't enjoy hearing about other people's periods (especially when they have cute nicknames for it) so you KNOW no one wants to hear about yours.
Well, I've broken the dreams rule on special occasions (Justin Timberlake seeing my hairy armpits was important enough to share). I've broken the sex life rule once. Now it is time to break the rule about the periods, so bear with me and please forgive me. I FUCKING HATE BEING ON MY FUCKING PERIOD! I FUCKING HATE CRYING TWO DAYS IN A ROW BECAUSE I AM AN EMOTIONAL PMSING FREAK! I FUCKING HATE CRAMPS! I FUCKING HATE HAVING SKIN PROBLEMS FIVE DAYS A MONTH! I FUCKING HATE BOYFRIENDS WHO SAY INSENSITIVE THINGS LIKE, "YOU BETTER WATCH WHAT YOU SAY, JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE ON YOUR PERIOD DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN ACT LIKE THAT!"
Okay, I feel a little better. And before you tell me to dump my boyfriend for daring to say such a thing, I will give you the rest of the conversation:
Justin: "You better watch what you say, just because you're on your period doesn't mean you can act like that!"
Ms. Boombastic: "FUCK YOU!"
[The phone clicks as I hang up on him in a fit of anger.]
Phone: "Ring-ring-ring!"
Justin: "I just wanted to call back and apologize, I was just mad and should not have said that when you are on your period. I don't know what I was thinking."
Note: Ms. Boombastic does not condone the use of profanity at any other time of the month besides the aforementioned one. She is not usually verbally abusive toward her boyfriend, or anyone else.
