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2001-11-19 - 10:59 p.m. I was wondering this morning if it is possible that I might have a slight form of panic attacks? How do you know if you get panic attacks? I really don't know. The thought hadn't occured to me before, but today I was all stressed out thinking about how I had to enter X amount of grades before Y time in order to get grade printouts to the kids today and I was feeling very stressed. Suddenly I felt an overwhelming urge to call in sick and crawl back in bed. My breathing was ragged and I felt like I was going to fall over. I could barely carry the box of grading to the car (we are talking about a huge box because I am the worst at staying caught up on grading, so it may have just been because it was heavy). At school I was afraid I was going to collapse in the hallway. I was thinking that maybe I should ask to go home. Once I got in my room and entered all of the grades before first period, though, I was fine. What was that all about? I am a bit of a hypochrondriac anyway, so I might just be doing that. I have had these sort of stress-myself-out-until-physically-ill things before, of course. I actually feel pretty good because it is before midnight and I am done with all the grading I need to do to get first and second period grade printouts tomorrow. I do have to get up a little early so I can enter all the graded work in the computer before that time, but other than that I feel happy. This is the last set of grade printouts I have to give out this week. The sad part is that I still have more to grade since the other kids got their grade printouts and turned in a whole bunch of work. Grading is the bane of my existance. I'm not particularly good at it--basically I suck, to tell you the truth--and it's not fun at all. I never have enough time to go into as much depth as I want to about their papers. The highlight of my day was when my student--I call her Rachel in here--came in with one of the girls from our rival high school during my prep. They were having exchange day with the rival high school to build comraderie (this was one of the SAT spelling words so you would think I would know how to spell it, but I don't). Anyway, she came in and said she was coming to bother me and they sat and hung out with me for awhile and she told the girl that I'm cool and my class is cool. I was thrilled and excited. You know, it's all about the little things. I am still trying to figure out how to trick my sophomores into liking me. Also, I started a college entrance essay/scholarship essay unit and things went well today. The kids were really good at analyzing the actual essays we read together. They had some of the same thoughts as I did about the essays being a bit pretentious (although they got the applicants into Ivy League schools). It was nice actually having a discussion that happened naturally, because I have the hardest times getting discussions going. That is my weak point. I had a great weekend. Justin and I spent a lot of time together and just hung out and had fun. We ended up going to Sizzler because I had a craving for ribs. One thing I have noticed is that people seem to expect that men are the ones who order ribs. It is really weird--whenever I order them they always end up trying to give them to Justin. The funny thing is that Justin doesn't like to order ribs because he thinks they are too messy! I love ribs, sorry if that makes me manly. :) Two more days till Thanksgiving Break! WOO HOO!
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