A lot can happen in 12 days! Right now our friend group is having a little bit of drama because of one of our friends (the one that I never mention because she isn't really a very good friend--let's call her Michelle). She is one of the girls going to Costa Rica, though, and so it's hard to just avoid drama...I'm a little worried about the whole situation, to be honest. To make a very long story short, our trip started with Scarlett's husband telling her that he didn't want her to be lonely this summer (he is out of town for work an excessive amount of the time). He wanted her to go on a trip, and suggested a trip with me since I am single, and everyone knows single people have all the time in the world, ha ha. Anyway, we decided on Greece, but figured out that would be too expensive and not quite right. So we decided on Costa Rica since we have always heard it is amazing and it would be way cheaper. Well, since we decided on that, we knew that we could invite our other friend, Olivia. The three of us have become really close, and that would be perfect. Then...the drama started. Our other friend, who really is not that close to us, but who hangs out sometimes, too, invited herself on the trip. Yes, you heard me right. She invited herself on a ten-day trip to Costa Rica. The way that she did it hit us by such a surprise that we didn't know how to get out of it. She walked into my room (these are all friends from work) and started talking about weekend plans. Then she said, "I hear there's a Costa Rica trip in the works!" I said yes and smiled, but thought to myself there was no way I was inviting her to be polite. Well, she said, "Count me in! Let me know when it is so that I can get my ex to take the kids." Um, yeah. We immediately booked our flight and hotel that night to try to deter her, saying that we already had it booked (we had all the plans in the works). But she just called and added herself on. So...we decided to make the best of it. It's not that we didn't like her, but she rubs a lot of people the wrong way for a number of reasons. The first is that she always has to be the center of attention and in charge, she talks about herself non-stop and barely asks about anyone else, I don't feel super comfortable around her unless I am drinking alcohol, etc. She's just not a close friend the way the other two are, and the others feel the same way about her. It is a bad situation, but it was really hard to figure out a way to not let her go. We almost canceled the trip but then we figured that it would still be fun, and we didn't want to be "mean girls." I guess this situation is a classic example of why maybe all of your close friends shouldn't be people you work with, but what are you going to do?
Well, things were going okay and we were starting to feel closer with her. She joined the same gym and all of us were working out a lot toward the end of the school year. Once school got out, though, she became kind of a flake. She is like a mean guy in some ways. Basically, I kept doing things to try to reach out to her (it seemed like she might be having some personal problems, but she never talks about that with us) and she kept flaking out. There were a number of times that I invited her to do things this summer where she said maybe and that she would call me back and then she didn't. I got the feeling that she was waiting around to see if something better would come along, but whatever, she could call me back and let me know if she doesn't want to hang out. So this was starting to piss me off, but I just let it go and realized that she just isn't a friend you can really count on. She's a friend that you can have fun with when she's around, I guess.
Things really came to a head, though, on Nathan's birthday. I mentioned that only Nathan and I hung out because most people were out of town in my last entry. Originally, though, we were supposed to hang out with Michelle, too. We had all been at happy hour talking about the joint b-day party that Nathan and Olivia were going to have when everyone WAS in town, and Michelle and I realized we were the only ones in town for Nathan's actual b-day. We said we would hang out with him. Well, the day before I called and reminded Michelle about it. Nathan said he thought she would flake, and he acted like he didn't care. They sometimes have tension between them, probably because both of them like to be the center of attention (although Nathan is less annoying about it). So the day of his birthday we were hanging out playing Wii, and she called me and asked me what we were doing. I reminded her that it would just be the three of us since everyone was out of town. She got kind of snooty with me and said that she thought we planned it for this day because everyone would be in town. I said that was the joint b-day party the following week. So she said her cousin was in town and they were going to go have dinner but I should call back later. Nathan again acted like he didn't care (notice she hasn't called HIM at all, just me). He said he thought she wouldn't show.
Anyway, we continued to play and then at around 8:00 we called her to make plans to go downtown. She said that she just got home from her cousin's dinner and that she had a few drinks. I said that we were going to go downtown and she said that she would call to see where we end up and will meet us down there. Well, not only did she not meet us, she never called either. I felt bad for Nathan, because even though we were having a birthday party celebration the following week, here it was his b-day and he only had one friend to hang with. That she did that, especially knowing it was only me and him hanging out, was completely unacceptable. I can't stand that kind of flakiness. To top it all off, she called me the next day. I screened my call so she left me a message. She apologized to me for not calling and said that she got caught up in her book and before she knew it it was eleven. You didn't show up to your friend's birthday because you were READING A BOOK? We were still out at eleven anyway. I think either she was waiting on a guy who said he might hang out with her or she is just a straight up jerk. Either way, she made both of us feel like we are not good enough to just hang out with us, you know? I was livid that she never even apologized to HIM, and that was when I decided that she is really not my friend. That was really shitty, and it just showed how little she can be counted on or trusted. I talked to Nathan about it later and he was really hurt by it, even though he didn't want me to let anyone else know that he was.
There is more drama, though, because I want to go to Las Vegas for my 30th birthday. Michelle has a timeshare condo in Vegas and offered to have us use it. Then she decided for some reason that she doesn't want Nathan to go...and she has been telling the rest of us that. I asked what her deal was and said it is my birthday and I want him to go. She said she's not mad at him or anything, but wants it to be a girl's weekend. We already have Costa Rica as all girls. Then she told me that it would be weird for it to be all girls and then Nathan. That's what it ALWAYS is, though! So anyway, at first she was saying that she could only get a one-bedroom condo that fit four people (I think to exclude Nathan). I said that would not work because it would not fit the fifth person, my sister, who I planned this with before anyone else from work said they wanted to go! She was being really snooty about it saying that the condos go fast and we need to get it booked, so we should just get two condos. I said we need to all get together and talk about the cost. At that point I made the decision that she was being a big jerk, and I didn't want her to run everything. My friends and I decided we would just tell her that her plan would not work, and we would just get a hotel room that would fit all of us. We didn't get a chance to do that, because last Tuesday she told Scarlett that she was able to find the two-bedroom condo that fits six (perfect amount) and went ahead and booked it. So it will be $80 per person for three nights, which is not a bad deal at all, obviously. It just makes me so mad she booked it without talking to us, and I think she just made that up before to try to keep Nathan out of it. She thinks this is HER trip and is trying to get one of my friends not to go by just telling us that, even though it's my birthday and everyone wants him to go! It makes me so mad. So now I guess we will see what happens in Costa Rica. If it is a drama-fest, I am still going to tell her that we can't go with her condo idea. It's supposed to be fun and shouldn't exclude anyone! I don't want to stress out about my fun birthday trip.
Anyway, hopefully I didn't bore anyone with all of the drama. It just makes me so mad! I wish that I never even mentioned Las Vegas to her in the first place and that she wasn't going there or to Costa Rica. I'm not trying to be mean, but she is being really mean to other people now.
I am also having some drama with Chad, surprise surprise. Although he encouraged me to start dating, now that I am actually doing it, he has had a change of heart. He is really upset about it and wants me to stop, but he doesn't want to say he will get back together with me. He still insists we are not right for each other, etc. We spend a lot of time together still, and obviously still like each other, but...he's sure. So I'm not stopping dating. He freaked out and said he would need to stop talking and seeing me for a while then, but then realized he couldn't do that either, so...here we are. I know that he might get in the way of my dating because, hello, I still love him. I am doing my best not to let him stop me. I can't wait and get over him because I will never get over him (I'm still not completely over Nathan, and here it is three years later). Anyway, I was hoping maybe he would get it together and get back together with me, but I guess it's not meant to be right now (maybe never).
Unfortunately, something is in the air for people having relationship problems. Scarlett is having some major problems with her husband. I actually referred them to my therapist, and so they have each gone individually and I think together now, but I guess things are really getting bad. Just today our other friend Risa told us that she is going to get divorced from her wife...this is a nine-year relationship. They aren't legally married, obviously, but this is going to be really, really hard. I told her she could stay with me for a while if she needs to. I said the same thing to Scarlett, even though I don't think they are to the point of divorce (yet?) I am so sad for everyone going through these problems, and it makes me lose faith in relationships.
So I have to update you on the Craigslist date situation later. It's down to one guy that I like now, so hopefully this one works out!
