Okay...so Reno was fun. It was exactly what I wanted and needed. But now it is over, and I am sad not to have that to look forward to. I am over my thing with short men--I have no problem with dating someone shorter. I prefer tall, but this guy was a great guy, and he happened to be short. It's too bad he doesn't live here. He kind of renewed my faith that there are nice, thoughtful, sweet guys out there...hopefully I will meet one again soon.
I posted this on my myspace blog, but I will post it here, too, for those of you who are not my myspace friends:
The other reason I am annoyed is because of the way that guys treat me. I must give off a vibe that says I think I am pathetic because otherwise I do not understand why so someone would act like this toward me. So remember that guy who blew me off? We had been seeing each other for about a month or so, and he had broken plans with me a few times at the last minute. This was what happened the last time I talked to him--HE asked ME to go to dinner. About an hour before we were supposed to go he said he was busy with some stuff and would call me in a little while. He never called me again. And then I saw him at the bar about a month later and he didn't even say anything like, "How have you been?" He basically just ignored me, which hurt my feelings. Well, you would think that would be the last of him. Except it wasn't. Last night he text messaged me asking me what I was doing tonight. Yes, on Saturday night, like I am just sitting around at home with nothing to do. I responded by saying, "Who is this?" because I had deleted him from my phone. He responded saying who it was and asking to hang out. It's been about two months since we last hung out. Anyway, I didn't respond to his text and then he texted me again asking if I was down to hang out. Um, no. Finally he calls me and leaves me this bullshit message about wanting to go out to dinner with me and hang out and I seem to be giving him the cold shoulder (really?) He has been really busy and things have been crazy, and I should call him and we'll talk.
Do I really seem like the type of person who would respond to this? I might have a low self esteem, but it's not THAT LOW. I might be crazy and give people second chances, but I am not THAT CRAZY!
Anyway, I am glad I didn't bother to respond to him because that speaks louder than trying to explain to him why I am angry. He exists in an alternate universe so I would never be able to get him to understand anyway. The funniest part was when I said, "Who is this?" (and I did figure out from past messages who it was, I said that to be spiteful). Then he said, "Ouch!" and told me who it was. Ha ha.
I have been having some problems with my friend Eliza when it comes to us going out. Ever since she got a boyfriend she seems a lot more irritated with us for strange reasons. I don't know if she is really as happy with her bf as she makes it sound, or if she is so nice to him that we get the leftover. This is a girl who is rarely angry. Well, we had a really bad night at the beginning of summer that was full of drama (it was the night that we went to the bar and he ignored me). I felt really sad and emotional, and I didn't want to go home. In the past I would just stay the night at her house, but of course her boyfriend was there. Basically she tried to drop me off and I was all upset and refused to go in. This was after we went to the Taco Bell drive through and we were yelling for some reason, then Olivia threw up in the drive through (which has become a tradition) and then later she found Taco Bell leftovers in her backseat. Anyway, she was pissed at me and pissed at Olivia, and we made many promises about no more of that. Well, we have not done that for a while. I said that I would not drink so much. I hadn't, and she still kept bringing up this terrible night. Which I know it is not fun to take care of drunk annoying people. So for Olivia's b-day, we wanted to go out dancing. I said we should drive somewhere and then just leave our car and take cabs so we could all drink and not worry and she wouldn't have to feel like she had to take care of us. Suddenly she was going to do something in the morning and wanted to drive. Then she made comments about how she had to take care of us. We were all having fun, and I guess I overdid it a little (as usual), but I don't think I was too awful. I think she was still mad. At one point she went to the bathroom when we were at a dance club, and we got up to dance. She flipped out. Like yelling at us for leaving her. I don't really understand (she had been drinking more than usual, too), because there were only two possible places for us to go--to get a drink, or to dance, but she was really pissed at us for leaving her. I don't know. Of course we wouldn't leave her and go somewhere else, we were just dancing, and it wasn't that big of a club. Anyway, I'm tired of her feeling mad at us and getting annoyed with us drinking. I will be the designated driver or have Olivia do it from now on so it doesn't get us in trouble again. We were just trying to have fun because of her birthday. I haven't talked to her since because I feel like maybe she expects an apology, but I don't think that we did anything too bad. We were just drinking and having fun, and I don't think we got out of control? I'm not sure. Anyway, totally not worth it to have our friend mad at us, though. I don't know why she has been so pissy since she got her boyfriend. Maybe she feels resentful she is with us instead of him, but I guess then just hang out with him. I continued to call her all the time like I used to, but I am just going to back off so she doesn't feel obligated to hang out with me.
I feel like every girl does this when she gets a boyfriend and I am so sick of it...I really don't feel like I do it. I will make every effort not to. Of course I also haven't met someone in a long time who wants to spend every second with me.
I do get really frustrated with myself for drinking too much, so maybe it is my fault. I get so emotional and crazy sometimes when I drink. I got mad because we went to strip clubs (long story) and they wouldn't play hip hop at either one, despite my requests. Then I got this random guy to request Usher and they played it the next song! The dj said it was the wrong crowd for hip hop and refused me. I don't play the cute girl card very often, so usually when I am sweet and ask for something like that I expect to get it! I thought it was very sexist and unfair at the time. Then at the second strip club I was kind of dancing in my seat (and I do not dance, so you can tell how much I was drinking), and this girl bartender came up and told me that I was asked not to dance because it detracts from the strippers and I was getting too much attention. I felt like crying. Olivia talked me down by saying that it is just because I am so hot and the strippers are jealous (ha ha).
Then we went dancing and I feel so bad about myself that I need male attention, even if it is gross guy attention. This is the text message that is the result of that, and you can imagine the conversation we had when I gave him my phone number: "What up miss sexy ass 30 year old teacher u know it wasnt the liquor talkin last night u just really were that fine...So u got any idea who this is if it helps out ill give u a hint...ya friends was tellin u no an ya mind was tellin ya yea lol" Okay, that text message makes me laugh really hard, so I guess it was worth it.
So, is it time for an intervention, or is this normal behavior for a 30 year old sexy ass teacher? Ha ha.
To give a little more detail about Reno, I had more fun than I have in forever. The guy was so sweet and fun to talk to and funny. He's not perfect by any means, but I was so glad that I went. We have kept talking since we got back, but he is leaving for England in less than a month, and there is no time to get together (and I don't know if he even would want to--I know he had fun and liked me, but I don't think he was looking for anything serious, either). I am so glad that I went, but I am sad that I only got a little bit of time with him. And now I am totally, completely without a doubt broke. Like starting to seriously worry broke. I do have an extra check coming soon, so that's lucky.
