So...the last few guys that I have "dated" I met in a normal way--at a bar, and at a wedding. One of my friends from work has a friend of her brother's to set me up with, but who knows how long that will take. So, they are having a sale at eharmony--3 months for $30 total. I decided to go ahead and try it. I recently reconnected with a friend who I haven't talked to in about five years, and she is also single and we were discussing different dating sites. She said she has only tried that one and went on lots of dates and all of the guys seemed to be looking for real relationships. So I thought I would try it. I just went through the whole guided communication with this guy...and the real reason why I chose him, if I am being honest, is because he is British (he's been here about eight years for work). He seems nice and thoughtful from his answers to questions, so hopefully we will meet, fall in love, and I will have a husband with a British accent. No pressure, British guy. Ha ha.
I can't remember if I mentioned this or not, but P's friend's girlfriend (the one I kissed) was proposed to by his friend. She asked me for my address so she can send me the invite. This is the guy who posted the Stevie Wonder video on her myspace, and they are so obviously in love. Sometimes I think that the reason why things didn't work out between me and P was because we were always hanging out with those two, and so both of us were probably questioning whether we felt the same way--and they met at about the same time as we did. In retrospect, though, it is true. We did not feel the same way as they did. I adored him, but I never felt like I could completely be myself around him, and I didn't let him know who I was as much as I wanted to. Because I was afraid I was not good enough for him or something...and he had his own issues that kept him from getting close to me.
I guess it just wasn't meant to be. Anyway, I am excited for the wedding...but it is coming up really soon, and when I get the invitation I am wondering about the whole guest check box thing and if I should be optimistic and act like I have a date to bring or what...ugh.
I have been avoiding thinking about school, but we went to another bargaining session (we are currently working without a contract--again). It made me think more about how hard this next year is going to be. Our classes will be 32-35, which is just so difficult. I was lucky enough to average around 27-28 most years. If you aren't a teacher it is really hard to explain what a difference those numbers make. It is SO MUCH harder to have bigger classrooms, even if you have well-behaved seniors. UGH. We also have a whole bunch of changes next year that give us more to do without taking away anything else. In the five years that I have worked in this district, I have always felt like the administration was making decisions that were best for kids and that I could get behind. This year there are changes that I do disagree with, and it makes me really sad and disappointed. We had a program that I really believed in that we are getting rid of without input from the people who ran the program (me being one of them). There are other things that are supposedly coming that go against my philosophy as a teacher. Each year they have expected more and more from us as teachers, and we have taken on more and more work, and I haven't felt angry because I felt like it was my job and something I believed in. Now I am getting frustrated, however, and it is getting to be too much. I really hope that our bargaining is successful and we get fair compensation and insurance, because the job I am doing now is ten times harder than when I started five years ago. Okay, end poor, shit-upon teacher rant. I really do like my job.
I'm still struggling with exercising and weight loss. Last summer it felt so easy. This summer I am averaging 2-3 times at the gym per week, which is ridiculous because it is literally five minutes away from my house now. My friend Olivia is supposed to lose maybe 50 pounds before next summer so she can fit into her wedding dress without it being altered, so you would think she would be more motivated. Usually I am the one who helps her get motivated, but I am not doing a very good job. I need to do better!
