There are two weeks left until winter break. Yes, I am counting down the days.
Work continues to go pretty well. My student teacher started actually teaching this last week. She is doing pretty well. I am supposed to start leaving the room so she can establish herself as the "real" teacher, etc. I am nervous, but I am excited because I plan to spend my time observing other teachers. I have never been able to observe teachers on my team since we share a common prep period. I am really curious to see them teach and see how the kids act for them. I really feel sad about giving up that class to her--she takes over one class and is supposed to be in charge of that group for the rest of the year. While they weren't my favorite class, they were MY kiddies, and it is hard to let that go. I don't know if I will ever choose to be a mentor again because it is really difficult!
Things with British Boyfriend have been pretty rough the last week or so. He got really drunk and finally told me that he has been dishonest/hiding a number of things from me. He was crying and saying that he doesn't deserve me and he is not who I thought he was. So--background information: he had a very good job at the beginning of our relationship, and then he got laid off and has been unemployed ever since. He got a really good severance package and had money saved up as well, so he planned to relax and enjoy himself for awhile. I have been really worried this whole time about why he hasn't really been looking for a job and whether that meant he was unmotivated (I dealt with an unemployed boyfriend back when I was living with Justin, and I can't stand that kind of thing). Anyway, he seemed to get annoyed whenever I would try to talk to him about it. So as it turns out, these were the things he was hiding: he hasn't been paying his mortgage on his house because he couldn't sell it for the amount he owes, so his house will be going into foreclosure soon and he is losing it, he can't get a job because his work visa ran out and his wife would not renew it (she was his sponsor after his original visa given by his job expired), oh and yes--the wife thing. His wife is not actually his ex-wife. They have been legally separated for three years but he did not tell me they were not actually divorced. The first time we ever discussed past relationships he talked about having been married and I guess I said something about divorce and he let me assume that was the case. He never told me the truth that they were just separated, and since he hadn't told me that, he hadn't felt he could tell me any of the other secrets either. He said he has been living in denial and not doing anything about trying to see if he can get another visa, and he assumed if I ever found out the truth that it would be the end for us since he is A BIG FAT LIAR.
I feel awful, as if my world has crashed down around me, and since I do not know what to do I have not talked to anyone about this. I can't believe that he has been keeping this from me nearly our entire relationship. I thought I finally found someone who treats me how I should be treated, and he has been lying to me the whole time. It wasn't just that he was hiding things from me, I asked him direct questions about things and he lied to my face. I know he felt horrible about it and I know he was planning on telling me, but he was scared because he thought everything would end. I just don't completely know what to do. We had been talking about marriage, etc, but obviously we can't get married when he is already married.
So once we talked things over he contacted a lawyer who specializes in immigration. The lawyer believes he can help him get another work visa and possibly get a temporary one in the meantime. He also said that the next step is to get a divorce as soon as possible (not really clear why, but I am not going to argue with this!) So, he may be able to get another work visa and stay in the country. I will not be moving to England, so don't worry. If he isn't able to get another work visa he will have to go back and things will have to be over. As it is, I am not sure if I should even stay with him. I have stayed with him since I found out, but I feel really conflicted about the whole thing. I also can't stand the idea of him losing his house, but that is already done with. I guess if we do stay together that will be a problem in the future, but right now it is not a problem for me. I have my condo, and he will not be moving in with me, he will have to get an apartment or something when he actually has to move. Even if he does get his work visa, it might be a while before he can get a job. Aside from the lying, I just can't believe that he was not doing anything proactive to try to figure out if he could solve the problem--that shows really poor judgment, obviously. I thought he was a really intelligent person and I feel really upset about that, too.
Anyway, it feels good to get that out. I might end up talking to one of my friends about the situation, but I haven't felt like saying anything because I feel so conflicted about it.
I think I might have mentioned this, but the morale at my school is really low this year. I feel angry at the administration for not realizing how hard we work and how nice it would be to get a compliment once in awhile. Like a genuine personalized compliment. I can't remember the last time I have been made to feel like I am doing a good job. I would go into more detail, but I am nervous about the whole "badmouthing your workplace on a blog," business. Anyway, in the past I have felt good about our school. This year I do not. I hope that things will improve.
My brother is getting married on Memorial Day. I am really looking forward to the wedding. If British Boyfriend and I are still together, I plan on bringing him with me. Hopefully my family will like him. My mom has met him twice and likes him, but I haven't had anyone from my dad's side meet him yet. We'll see.
I am feeling down overall. I even have things to look forward to--I am going to go see Airborne Toxic Event/The Bravery on Wednesday. British Boyfriend and I are going to a fancy log cabin with a hot tub in the Gorge for two days for our Xmas present to each other. My favorite friends and I are doing another annual special Christmas dinner during break as our present to each other. My friend Jasmine is coming to visit next weekend. So many good things. Other than this latest problem, my life is awesome. I just want everything to work out how it is supposed to. I hope it does.
