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2002-07-14 - 2:02 a.m. There is this skinny little kitty yowling outside of the door and it won't stop. I love cats so much, and I want one sooo bad. I went out there to give it some milk because we thought it might be hungry and played with it for awhile. It could not get enough attention and loved me to pet it on its little head. I want it so much for my own kitty. I've been thinking that maybe I should just go ahead and get a cat, it would make me a lot less lonely. I had a cat once and it was mean, so I really want a nice cat. I got emails from my sister and brother. It feels so weird saying that, since I was an only child, but so exciting. I can't wait to meet them. I had another bad dream about Arianna. When will these dreams stop? I also had some weird student dreams recently. I think maybe I've been having such vivid dreams because my bed here is really uncomfortable. I met some of my mom's friends today, and they seemed nice. My mom is really really lonely here because everyone else is young and so she doesn't have many friends to hang out with. She seems to be friendly with a lot of the people around here, but they are not really friends she goes out to do stuff with. You know how that is. I really want my mom to be happy because she is such a wonderful person. I just wish she could find the happiness she deserves. I also wish she could find someone to spend the rest of her life with, too. When I was growing up I never wanted her to, because it is very weird thinking about that, but now I am starting to realize that is really selfish. Even if visits would be more awkward, she definitely deserves to find someone. I hope she will find someone someday. I just feel really bad for her situation here because she did this whole thing as a way of changing her life and having an adventure. She is happy about some things, but I want her to be completely happy. I have really been missing Justin, too. I really love that boy. It's really weird because I still don't think of either of us as grown ups. My mom says that it took until she was in her thirties to feel grown up, so hopefully it is not abnormal to feel this way. I wore this outfit today that I am really starting to hate. I'll tell you why, I feel like it makes me look like a fat fifties housewife. It is these retro looking capri pants and tank top that matches. The capri pants are in various swirly shades of blue. I really liked them when I bought them, but I feel like they make me look really weird. I am thinking of giving them up for good. The last thing I want to look like is a fat fifties housewife, that is one thing I know for sure. Tomorrow I will be off to Florida for four lovely days. Hope you miss me.
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