I did it. I finally told that teacher, Mr. Jerkface, what I thought about his comments.
So in the staff room today he stood up to tell a story. He is one of those people who always talks and talks and talks and likes to be the center of attention. So when he tells a story, it is to the whole room, not just a few people sitting near him. He prefaces this story by saying it is kind of gross. I am not lying when I say his story ended up being about how he peed this morning at school and dropped something important into the toilet bowl and was afraid to fish it out. This is his lunchtime fun story.
Anyway, before he starts telling the story he has to give the background info. about how he has kidney issues and so had to pee really badly on the way to school. After he mentions the kidney issues he said, "And, Ms. B., this kidney thing is a liability, so you may want to rethink our engagement." He said that loudly, in front of the whole staff room. I was stunned. Then I was pissed. First it was him joking about me calling him, now about us being engaged? What the hell? I sat there for a few minutes, listening to his stupid (not to mention disgusting) story. Then I pulled another teacher into another room to confirm that I had heard him right. She said yeah, what was that about? Then she mentioned that she had been annoyed the other day when he was relating a story at lunchtime about multiple orgasms. So I said maybe I would talk to the counselor about it and see what I should do.
So I go back out there, wanting to get the hell away from him and the rest of the staff room. I started gathering up my stuff (I had a ton of stuff with me), and he started talking to me.
"So you've been sick, huh?"
"Yeah, I have."
"Yeah, you don't look like you feel that great."
"Yep, I'm sick."
Then he says with a little smile on his face, "Well, I tried to cheer you up with a little bit of humor."
So, then, of course, I had to address it. Just to make sure I asked, "What bit of humor would that be?"
"Oh, earlier, when I was talking about us being engaged." Smile.
I tried to be fairly quiet about it, but I told him that I had been meaning to talk to him about this (I was pretty mean for me in my tone of voice). I told him I felt his comment was inappropriate and that he had made other comments I was not comfortable with as well. He was totally shocked, or acted like it. I said he had made a similar comment a few weeks ago, and I felt the same way when kids made comments like that to me--it's not appropriate. THEN he tried to say that he started teasing me like that because he always noticed that Jokey-Teach (another male teacher) is always joking around with me. At this point I said, "Jokey-Teach does NOT joke around with me in that way!" Jokey-Teach teases me about my questionable lunch choices, not about me and him getting together. Jokey-Teach heard me say this, but for the most part no one (other than the teacher I pulled aside earlier) seemed to notice the conversation (or they pretended not to notice.) Anyway, finally he apologized and said it would not happen again.
I totally felt shaky after that, because I hate confrontation, and I was pretty firm and not my sweet self.
So during my prep period I went and talked to Jokey-Teach to find out if Mr. Jerkface said anything to anyone about me after I left. He said he only talked to him about it when Jokey-Teach was asking him a question more privately. Jokey-Teach is a bit of a gossip so he is always knows all the dirt. So I was trying to explain to Jokey-Teach the kinds of comments Mr. Jerkface had been making that were different then Jokey-Teach's. And Jokey-Teach said, "Oh yeah, Mr. Jerkface said something a long time ago about you and him going out awhile back." My mouth literally dropped open. "WHAT?!?!?!" Jokey-Teach said that Mr. Jerkface had told him we went out one time and both had a nice time, but that then I backed off because suddenly I had a boyfriend, and Mr. Jerkface wondered what that was all about. I was SO pissed off when I heard that. I wonder who else he has told this blatent lie to? The only thing that was even close to this was when he asked me to go to lunch during a conference day, but I thought a bunch of people were going (they usually do) when I agreed. While in the car he asked me to go to a football game with him and I said I would be going with my boyfriend. It was not the first time I had mentioned my boyfriend, either. Anyway, I would have gone alone (and have) with any other staff member to lunch on a conference day, and no one else would consider that to be a date. But apparently we went on a date and had a good time (except me, who was cringing as he told me the story of the day his wife told him she wanted a divorce).
So, if Mr. Jerkface was not on my list-o-hate before, he is now officially number one. I guess I shouldn't care what people think, but I do. I don't want anyone thinking that I would associate myself with him!
I told Jokey-Teach the whole story to clear my name, so now he knows the whole thing. He thought it was good that I told Mr. Jerkface he needs to cut it out. My only hope is that Jokey-Teach's gossipy nature will be used to my advantage if anyone else in the staff room asks what the deal was with our conversation. I am not going to be afraid to go to the staff room either. My only fear is that now he will make little rude or snarky comments toward me (I am pretty sure he meant it about the other comments stopping). If he does, I am going to go and complain about him.
Anyway, I am glad that I actually stood up for myself and said something. Maybe things will be awkward, but at least he will stop embarrassing me in front of other people.
Other than that, I had a decent day. The kids were good, and I gave fourth period lollipops for being such angels with the subs. I told them they better keep it secret because I only had enough for them. They were very cute about it.
Another nice thing that happened to me was that while I was sick the secretary at my school (she is the nicest person in the world) called me up and asked me how I was doing on groceries, and if she could bring me anything from the store like juice or soup so I wouldn't have to go get it when I was feeling so miserable. I just thought that was the sweetest thing, and it brought tears to my eyes. She knows that I live alone, and I just thought that was the most thoughtful and caring gesture. Of course, I couldn't take her up on the offer because my house was a huge mess.
I'm going to have to do something nice for her in return.
