I know everyone has been eagerly awaiting my take on the results of America's Next Top Model. I have been pissed off at this show for two big reasons. First, they tricked me into thinking April would win the whole thing, then she got kicked off last week. Second, they reran the show every week on Wednesdays up until the FINAL TWO. This means that I missed everything but the last five minutes due to American Idol deciding it needed to be TWO hours long the last two weeks. What's up with that?
Anyway, they duped me again because I thought for sure that after April got kicked off they would have Shandi win the whole thing. I have always thought she hasn't turned swan-like enough (what's up with her ears?) but she is a likable character and I was down. When I turned the channel and realized that it was down to Mercedes and Yoanna, I was certain it must be Mercedes. She was my second choice after April. But no. They had to throw the twist in there of choosing my LEAST favorite character as the winner. She is no top model. I would have chosen Camille over her. No joke. I was actually yelling at the TV, and Justin was like, "Um, yeah." It was actually pretty embarrassing because Mark was over, and Justin had just got done telling him this totally overexaggerated account of how I cried when Sara got kicked off. Yes, I did cry when Sara got kicked off, but the way he told it I started sobbing and ran out of the room in despair. I just had tears in my eyes. And yes, I did watch it on rerun the next day so I could relive the emotion and cry again about it. But I didn't run from the room. Anyway, me yelling at the TV made the two of them go into a long sexist tirade about how girls get too involved with reality TV.
I had a lousy day today because I am seemingly unable to work well unless I am under pressure. Instead of getting the entire house cleaned up today so I just have to worry about shopping for food tomorrow, I only got some stuff cleaned. I have a lot more to do tomorrow.
My day did get better though, because I went with my mom to a concert that a local radio station was putting on. It was only $1.02 for tickets, so we decided to go since my mom heard the guy singing on the radio. The guy was actually pretty cool, except I always get annoyed when people do really long guitar things (I think they may be called riffs, but I am way too embarrassed to use the phrase "guitar riffs" so I am going to hold myself back). He and his band were really into the long guitar things. But I enjoyed him otherwise. He was sort of like Bruce Springsteen, mainly because he covered a few of his songs, but he was that kind of genre. Like old-guy-who-still-rocks. It is always interesting seeing old people at concerts, and they all seemed to be having a good time. I also saw someone from my school there, but he didn't see me.
The whole thing with my cousin is still on my mind, but it is pretty clear that she is not calling me. The next time that we had plans to get together were because she needs a ride to the airport. I will be interested to see if we make up by then (or ever). I am also curious to see if she follows her own religion and remembers that whole part about forgiveness, but I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't. Insert catty remark about pre-marital sex here. No, I didn't, but I wanted to.
That was pretty bad, and I contemplated erasing it, but you know what? Too bad, I'm leaving it.
I can't believe my vacation is almost over. This is the story of my life, but I am not having it. I deserve a do-over.
Because I was at the concert I missed seeing Mr. Cheeseball from American Idol voted off. I actually thought he was better than usual last night, but I do believe that we voters got it right this time! I voted for George about five times and one time for Fantasia. I was surprised that Diana was in the bottom three, but not Camille. I like Camille, but she has been pretty weak lately. The one who really needs voting off is John Stephens. That child annoys me.
Believe it or not, my tetanus arm is still hurting! It is all swollen and red. No one is showing me as much sympathy as I deserve, but I am telling you it is bad! I can't even sleep on that side. Add to it that this morning I strained the same arm trying to adjust my bra strap, and you have a very painful arm. Everyone also keeps forgetting and bumping that arm, or rubbing it. The nurse said to call if it is bruised or I get a rash, but she said nothing about if it gets swollen and red. I assume that is just normal in the life of tetanus. How funny would it be if I got a mild case of lockjaw? Kind of like when I got a flu shot and got sick for a week? I would be like the poster child for people who don't believe in immunizations.
The singer tonight did a cover of Justin's favorite Jackson 5 song "I Want You Back." It was a much slower version, but it was still good. I am sure I have mentioned this, but my favorite Jackson 5 song is "Who's Loving You" and Jasmine's favorite Jackson 5 song is "Going Back to Indiana." I don't know what everyone else's favorite Jackson 5 song is, but those are the ones that I know. Jackson 5 is like my favorite boyband of all time. I mean, it is a close call with N*Sync, but Jackson 5 does win. I will totally buy the N*Sync box set when it comes out, though. If it comes out.
My mom and I did have a great time at the concert, though. Her last concert was Joan Baez. JOAN BAEZ! Although I am willing to appreciate some of the music that I scoffed at when I was growing up (Bob Dylan, Paul Simon, even JAMES TAYLOR), I can't get down with Joan Baez. So her last concert was in the seventies or something. That is just wrong. Judging by her reaction to this singer, I think my mom would enjoy Liz Phair. I think she could handle it. I just wouldn't tell her what "H.W.C." stands for, and I know she wouldn't pick it up on her own.
And now is the time that I tell you my Top 10 Concert Wishlist:
1.) Liz Phair again
2.) Justin Timberlake again, with front row seats
3.) Shaggy again
4.) Mary J. Blige
5.) Jodeci (K-Ci and Jojo need to get back together with the other CUTE members)
6.) Bruce Springsteen
7.) Beastie Boys
8.) Modest Mouse
9.) Tony!Toni!Tone!
10.) Prince
I am sure I am forgetting someone so obvious and vital to my wishlist. I made it a rule that I couldn't include people who are dead, or wouldn't be the same if they reunited (examples: Jackson 5, Beatles, Supremes).
This list reminds me of one of my favorite things ever, which is talk-about-a-story-a-song-reminds-you-of. This is just a general overview of my love of a group called Jodeci.
As we all know, Jodeci originally had four members: K-Ci, Jojo, Devante Swing, and Mr. Dalvin. Things were not the same for me once K-Ci and Jojo split from the other two members. First of all, although K-Ci and Jojo are arguably the "talented" ones with the "good voices," they are also the "ugly" ones. K-Ci looks like a chicken is about to pop out of his spindly little neck, and Jojo isn't much to look at himself. Devante and Dalvin are the cute ones. Poor Dalvin seemed to have no other job in the group other than to be cute (I think he raps once or twice), but Devante is a talented piano player, has attractive tattoos, has the best name of all, and is fine as can be.
In any case, I distinctly remember the first time that I heard Jodeci on the radio. This was back in the day when Portland didn't have a FM rap or R&B station at all. No, the only thing Portland has was this AM station that you could never get to come in, but you listened anyway, static and all. I want to say it was 1480 WVKO, but I think that might have been in a different city. Anyway, I was sitting there in bed late at night, listening to the radio and I heard the most beautiful song in the history of my R&B universe:
Don�t talk
Just listen
First of all
I have to be honest with you baby
I lied
When I told you I never wanted to see you again
Can you please stay
Just for tonight
And maybe we can do something
Like make love
Watch the sunrise
Or listen to Jojo, K-ci, sing us a verse
Don't even play, you know you were sitting up in bed the first time you heard it, too. Anyway! I. Love. That. Song.
So I quickly found out about this new group called Jodeci and I saw the first video. You know what I'm going to say. I still have my recorded video tape with all my favorite videos, and I bet you it's on there. "Forever My Lady." It's coming back to you now--they're all wearing these loose white outfits and standing around looking so adorable. "So you're having my baby, and it means so much to me. There's nothing more precious, than to raise a family." So not only does Jodeci want to make love to me while watching the sunrise and singing me a verse, they are also very excited about raising the baby that will be the natural result! These guys!!!!!!!!!!
The thing I love so much about Jodeci is that they are the kings of the hand- clenching, almost-sobbing, down-on-my knees-begging, seizure-like singing that we have come to associate with R&B groups. What happened to this kind of passion? My favorite example of this is the "Feenin'" video in which Devante (I think it was him, or maybe I am just hoping that it was him since he is the hottie) has taken off his signature sunglasses because he is feenin' so hard for his woman. He's going crazy because she is like a drug, as shown through these lyrics: "Take my money, My house and my cars,
For one hit of you,
You can have it all, baby." He is basically in a crazy house in a straight jacket, kind of like the N*Sync video "Drive Myself Crazy", but ten times better because it is Devante, not J.C. or Lance going crazy for my love.
In any case, I have many Jodeci stories, and I didn't mean to go off on a Jodeci video thesis (Don't get me started on the "Come and Talk to Me" video. That video should have been directed by me, instead of the crap they pulled with the girls in bikinis by the pool. How do girls in bikinis by a pool have anything to do with seeing a girl you have a crush on and wanting to get up the courage to talk to her?!)
Speaking of "Come and Talk to Me," that is the one song that I ever sang to a boy. I have a fear of public singing, but if you are familiar with this song you should know that on the video version there is a special bonus introduction. This is the best part of the song, and they should have put it on the CD. Anyway, one night we were all at one of my ex-best friend's houses. We were drinking forties of St. Ides (because that's what Ice Cube drank, remember?) and we called my best friend's boyfriend. The two of us sang the intro. to "Come and Talk to Me" over the phone for him, and he said we were truly great singers and sounded exactly like Jodeci. That was the best thing ever.
Another fun Jodeci memory is when we were in a limo ride for one of my friend's fifteenth birthday party. We were listening to Jodeci and someone said that we should listen to Boyz II Men. I said that was a great idea because I really liked Boyz II Men, but the only problem with them is that, unlike Jodeci, they have no cute members. This caused an uproar in the limo and sparked the big-cute-boy-in-band debate. The question: must a boy band have at least one cute member? Everyone else was appalled (especially the one guy who was in the limo at the time), and said that it only matters how they sing. I disagreed emphatically--EVERY boy group MUST have a cute member to be completely and totally successful. And while Boyz II Men were successful, I would still argue that they would have been even MORE successful if they had at least one cute boy for girls to love. What do you think? It's perfectly fine (and even a requirement) to have one or two ugly members, as I am sure I have discussed at great length in the past, but I do believe it is necessary to have a cute one, too. When I listen to Boyz II Men songs I feel their pain, but I simply cannot imagine myself being made love to like I asked them to at the end of the road on bended knee by SLIM. You know what I'm saying?
So, those are two of my Jodeci stories. Maybe I will give you some more another time. Maybe not. But I will stand by my assertion that Jodeci is the greatest R&B guy group of their time.
Just for the record:
N*Sync: Cute--Justin Timberlake Ugly--Chris Kirkpatrick
Backstreet Boys: Cute--Brian/Nick Ugly--Howie
New Kids on the Block: Cute--Joey/ Jordan Ugly--Danny Wood
Jodeci: Cute--Devante Ugly--K-Ci
BellBivDevoe: Cute--Ronnie Devoe Ugly-Michael Bivens
New Edition: Cute--Ralph Tresvant Ugly-Michael Bivens
Beatles: Cute--Paul McCartney Ugly--Ringo Starr
