I was looking through my entry titles (trying to find the entry "booklist" to update it) and noticed something. I have FIVE entries with Justin Timberlake in the title. I only have ONE entry with Shaggy in the title. I felt almost as if I had been cheating on Shaggy when I realized that. Just to be clear, I would definitely pick Shaggy over Justin. However, there is much more media coverage of Mr. Timberlake, so he is on my mind more. Um. Yeah. I know you were SO WORRIED that I was about to change my name to Ms. Timberlake, but that's not happening.
So back to the subject at hand--I did see "Cry Me a River." The part where the girl bites Justin's lip is SO HOT. As you know, I am usually under control of my celebrity crushes. However, my celebrity crush got a little bit out of control with that little video.
I just rechecked, and there are actually SIX Justin Timberlake titled entries.
Things went well today, except for a small glitch. All day I was so happy because I was reading four of my favorite Maya Angelou poems to the classes. We were doing a tiny bit of discussion about them, plus an art thing, but the main thing was that I wanted them to enjoy the poems. Everyone "got" the poems right away and seemed to like them more than most stuff we read. I was pleased, and on sort of a teacher high. Well, the kid I mentioned yesterday who wants to transfer to another period was in my regular class. He loves me and we get along in general. Well, I go to start talking about Maya Angelou for a little bit before reading the poems and then I stopped and asked him to be quiet (I think, I can't remember). Well the kid says, "No one cares about Maya." Out of nowhere. It was like a slap. He immediately said, "I was just kidding." My face betrayed me. I could tell everyone in the room knew how hurt I felt. I kind of said, "Okay then." and sort of shuffled my papers to give myself a minute. I am not sure why exactly that hurt so badly, as opposed to some other things that they say or do. I guess it was just that it was A) straight up rude B)unexpected and C)made me feel like a loser who just throws stupid stuff at them that noone cares about.
So I managed to recover (honestly, I felt like crying, although I did not come close to tears). I continued, read the poems (which my bad little child seemed to enjoy a great deal, ironically enough) and got them started with the assignment. After class he came up to me and apologized and I just said that it made me feel really bad. I accepted his apology, though, because I'm a teacher, and that's what teachers do. I'm not really mad or sad about it anymore, but it was one of those really hurtful moments.
In some ways, teaching has made me so much of a better person. I have always thought about what I said before I say it, but I think even more carefully now that I have impressionable young minds (and feelings) at stake. I have gained infinite amounts of patience. I have learned how to make small talk about things that I care nothing about (hunting and fishing are two such things). I have even learned how to confront people about their behavior in a way that is non-confrontational.
What I don't like about being a teacher, though, is that we always have to be the bigger person. A student is rude to you and treats you like shit? Well, you can talk to them about changing their behavior, you can kick them out of your class, and you can write them up. However, when they come back to class you have to treat them like anyone else. You have to set the example and act like you can get along with them, and still love them, despite the fact that in any other part of your life you would stay the hell away from someone that treats you like that. Sometimes I don't want to be the bigger person. However, I guess in the long run it pays off. I can't imagine how it would feel to know that your teacher, someone who supposedly is objective and doesn't choose favorites (HA! We all have favorites!), had written you off as a bad person that they don't like. We all know that the ones that act out the most are really the ones that want your approval the most, even if they act like they could care less.
For a while I thought that things were better with having an aide in with the freshmen. However, not having her in there last week and then having her in there today (she is only in there a few times a week), made me think that maybe it is better NOT to have her. I had made some gains with the kids with poetry. Well, today we did something a little different and two of my three skater boys reacted with disgust and anger and it was back to, "I hate this poetry crap." I think part of it was because of their relationship with the aide. It seems as if most of their interaction is with her reassuring them that they can do it, that it won't be that bad, that sometimes they need to do things they don't like, etc. It's almost like that is part of their whole game with her. They sometimes get frustrated towards me, too, if they don't understand, but it seems like they spend a lot less time arguing with me about not doing it. For the last three or four days we have had positive interactions about everything, even if they don't understand they are approaching me in a calm and respectful way. I'm not blaming her at all, but I think because they have her in other classes, they may get in the habit of using her to sort of enable them in their frustration. She IS really good at getting them to actually do whatever it is, but it worries me that their attitude is so different with her there. Then again, I have so many ups and downs with them it could just be their mood today.
Mr. Jerk-face is still out with an injury. I feel sort of guilty, although obviously it has nothing to do with me. I almost feel as if I wished it upon him, even though I didn't. Maybe I feel guilty about being glad he's not here? That's probably it.
This new subway campaign about how everyone is an individual and so fast food companies need to think about that is so stupid. They act like they are so special because you can go in to their store and order your sandwich the way you like it right there. Hello! You can go to any fast food place and order it the way you like it. I always order mine without pickles or onions, and add cheese if I want it. There are no rules against this option. The commercial just struck me as completely inane.
I've been on here far too long. I need to go read and watch TV. That's all I ever do, but I guess that's okay.
