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2001-12-06 - 7:35 p.m. It may be sacrilege for an English teacher to say this, but I'll just go ahead and say it anyway. I'm not a big fan of Shakespeare. I just don't think that high school is a great place for Shakespeare. That being said, we started our journey into the world of Macbeth today. I think it will take us at least a month to read the whole thing in class and do all the stuff with it. Sometimes I wish books had a fast forward button. I am thinking of actually making them memorize a portion of it to perform in front of the class. I'm not sure. I still remember the monologue that LUCIA had to memorize for her English class our senior year, if that is at all a pro for doing it. I'll let you know what I decide to do. Maybe it is just cruel and unusual punishment. I've been thinking a lot about love lately. Sometimes I still do get that feeling over Justin, that pit of your stomach flutter you get sometimes. I wonder if that ever completely disappears or if that is a sign that we've still got it? Another thing I've been thinking about is how much I would like to have a boyfriend that is really tall. The ex boyfriend that I never mention (because he's evil) was 6'4". I want another boyfriend that's tall. It's because I'm 5'9", I love being around guys that are taller than me because it makes me feel feminine or something. Justin's friend Mark is 6'4" and I always feel sort of sexier around him. Justin is 5'11", and with the way girls' shoes are, we're basically the same height. Sometimes I think I am the most superficial person in the world. I got an email from Jasmine that mentioned how she never hears from me anymore. I wrote to her acknowledging that I got her engagement party invitation but won't be able to make it. I usually write super long emails to my friends, but she always writes about a paragraph so I just wrote her a paragraph. I didn't even send her a card for her birthday. I did actually buy one, but normally I send a present. I feel messed up, but on the other hand I feel like why should I buy a present for someone I don't like. I think I will get her a Christmas present off of her amazon.com wishlist. It's weird to think that I have been friends with her since we were roommates in college and now I am going to just say goodbye to her like that. But this has been the second time that she has just showed us how little we matter to her and how self centered and rude she is (the Vegas trip--another time surrounded a New Year's visit that never happened). Cassandra and I are just tired of feeling bad about ourselves around her. I think we should have just told her at the time but, like I said, how do you tell someone their personality sucks?!?! I got some very emotional poems. Two girls in first period wrote poems about how they feel about not being popular that they used their names on and seemed pointedly directed towards other members of the class. I mean, I can pretty much figure out who the popular ones are. I asked them if they were sure they wanted me to use their names and they said yes. I said they were very honest and brave. Other kids did even cooler poems today. I've been completely positive about every poem they write (no matter how bad they actually are) because I think the important part is for them to see poetry as something fun and that they are able to do. Right now they feel like that and they are already showing improvement in what they write (getting more original, less cliched). I have now had more than one student (boys, even!) come up to me in the halls and read me their poems! One thing I have found out from all this poetry is that this certain girl is very beloved by many, many sophomore boys. :) She is beautiful, so I'm not surprised, but she doesn't act like someone all the boys love. One boy came in after school to read me the poem dedicated to her. I asked him if he was going to read it to her and he said, "Maybe at graduation!" Graduation?!?! They're sophomores!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was actually one of the sweetest poems I had ever heard. If I got a poem like that from someone in high school I would die. I feel like I am making connections to some students that I hadn't before. Some of them are letting me read poems they are doing on the side that are private and not to turn in. They seem so pleased and happy with themselves and it is wonderful! I hope it lasts. I need to find something else like this to do once poetry is over. I'm so dedicated, I'm missing Popstars to finish this entry. I am going to crack up if their songs are as bad as the first group. Tomorrow I am going to see my cousin. I'm happy for a little break. Maybe I will actually get an adrenaline rush tomorrow and get everything planned for Monday before I go. We can only hope.
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