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2002-01-07 - 9:52 p.m. I just wanted to write a quick entry to say I am in a better mood than I was last night. I did my almost hour worth of grading today and felt like I actually got stuff accomplished so that was good. I also got a new/used printer for my classroom since my old one completely died. I am happy because it is a laserjet type so it is faster and better quality. Hopefully it will work for awhile. Printers in general just seem to always have problems. Today was a good day in school. I started a novel with the sophomores. First and Second are reading the YA novel Eva and Seventh is reading The Goats. I didn't have enough copies so I have to do two books at once, which is kind of a pain. Luckily I have taught both of the books before. The Goats seems a little bit lower level but it is a great story and the kids that read it last year and the kids reading it this way are totally hooked all the way through. I think it's important to have at least one shared literary experience that is completely positive, regardless of whether or not it is completely challenging for all of them. By the way, I don't want to jinx myself, but seventh period really has completely turned itself around and they are angels. I think my coming down on them awhile back and giving them the seating chart somehow worked and now they actually do their work. Plus a few kids have moved or left from that class so it is a smaller class now, so that helped as well. I actually enjoy that period now and don't feel the sinking feeling of doom and foreboding I once felt while waiting for them to come in. Now, my fourth period seniors are becoming my nightmare class. I'll work on it. Anyway, I'm pleased to be reading The Goats with seventh period. Hopefully they will continue to enjoy it. I have to comment on tonight's episode of Boston Public. I think Stephen made a huge mistake not going to the execution of his former student. I couldn't believe it. I know that this man did terrible, awful, unforgivable things. And I know Stephen has a daughter so it hit home for him. If it was Stephen's own daughter, I could understand him not being able to do that and be forgiving. I just feel that a human being that has expressed sorrow for what he has done does not deserve to die alone. I totally understand having mixed feelings and feeling disgusted by what he had done. I wouldn't be friends with the man, but he wasn't asked to do that. He was asked to show compassion toward someone who was going to die the next day and he agreed to do it. I don't know, maybe I am just too soft hearted, but the episode just made me feel like crap. I wonder sometimes about the way teachers are portrayed in the media and the sort of stereotype of teachers as "saving" kids. There are so many kids that you don't reach, or don't get to know that well. I have 140 students and I love them to death, but some of them I barely know. In some ways I want to "save" a few kids in my career, but I don't think teaching is really about that. On a totally different note, one of the things that bothers me about one of the other new teachers is that I heard from the sophomores that he tells them funny stories. That's great, but some of the stories are about his drunken college days. The kids will ask me about whether I drink or not or did in high school and I just say it's none of their business (not rudely, but you know). I do think it's important to be honest with kids, but at the age I am at (and the other new teacher is at), I feel like they really think they are similiar to us in age and experience. They really aren't, but they think they are, so I feel like if I say I drink or party or did in high school they will see that as a way of justifying their own drinking. It just kind of bothers me that he would tell them funny drunk stories (presumably he says he was 21 in college, but still). In some ways it probably doesn't matter anyway, because nearly all of the kids drink. I guess all the kids drank when I was in high school too. I would say that it is more prevalent here because it's a small town and there isn't anything to do. They don't even care if their teachers hear about it though--even talk about it in front of the "old" teachers. I don't automatically equate underage drinking with the devil, it is that I worry about kids (especially girls) getting into unsafe situations because of drinking. I don't think a group of people who trust each other, drinking in a safe place is the end of the world, but I think there is more to it than that. So far I haven't heard any horror stories so I guess I will try not to worry about it. They are supposed to fold over their journal pages if they talk about that stuff, but it doesn't seem to keep them from talking about it in class. Sometimes, also, I just want to kick these girls in the head with their stupid boyfriend choices. All of these sophomore girls are all enthralled with one of my senior boys, and he sounds like he treats girls like crap. In fact, I heard all the sordid details about what a man whore he is. He must be since he always seems to be hitting on me, too. I like him as much as any of my other students but clearly he isn't having luck with the senior girls for a reason!!! Okay, enough on that subject. I am as bad with the gossip as the students. They think that's the reason I have them do journals. At least I only repeat it all here. :) I have to say something really mean and awful. Some students have some sort of hygiene issues. I just try not to notice but sometimes it is hard. I wish I knew some way to help these kids realize without breaking their hearts. You don't smell if you don't take a shower for a few days, you smell if you don't take a shower for more than a few days and don't change your clothes. Maybe that is part of the issue, that they don't have many clothes? Most of these kids do seem to have friends, but one in particular has no friends, and I think the hygiene issue is one of the big reasons. I am not sure what the deal is. She came by today after school to talk to me (since she has no friends she hangs on her teachers and it is extremely hard to get any work done because she will literally talk to me for an hour if I let her). She had this tiny dog with her that she introduced me to as one of her five dogs. She held it out as if she wanted me to pet it. The dog was stinky and dirty and I didn't want to touch it! I am not a big dog fan anyway. I felt really really bad about this. I feel bad that I don't have time to talk to her very often, because she is clearly very lonely. The poor girl always sits in the front of the room, BY CHOICE, and will talk to me non-stop. I have to explain to her that I need to teach the other kids too. Anyway, I guess this goes back to wanting to "save" them. I don't really know how to do that for her and I can't really do it. I am going to make an inquiry to the counselor about it though. Last year there was this issue with this other kid and I felt really really uncomfortable about the memos they sent out about this poor kid and how if he smelled bad you need to say something to him. I never noticed him smelling at all, so I wasn't put into that awkward position. I just think that is straight up mean, but at the same time, isn't it straight up mean to let someone smell so much that people don't want to be around them? It is a double edged sword. All I know is this: if you have a child, please let them know the virtues of showering every day after they reach puberty! Thank you. Even every other day would be helpful. Okay, I have rambled on long enough. I need to get some sleep.
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