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2002-02-04 - 6:49 p.m. "It's been a long time since I used my nine..." or "It's been a long time since we left you without a dope beat to step to..." I'm sick again. Sorry for the non-updates. I woke up this morning and my throat was killing me and I threw up, and I still went to school. I just felt like I had to. I missed a day last week (over an entirely different sickness--stomach problems) and I felt it would just be wrong. However, I wouldn't be surprised if I miss a day sometime this week. I planned out all my lessons and actually wrote them down, just in case. I don't feel TOO awful yet, but I can barely talk. Not exactly ideal when we are reading stuff aloud. I don't have much of an idea what happened since I last wrote. I can't think of anything too exciting. The only exciting thing was that it snowed last Sunday, but it didn't bother to stick around for a snow day. It was pretty, though. School has been fine. Nothing too great other than it being nice that the new semester has started and it is a fresh slate and all of that. Also, we are halfway to the end of the year now. :) I was just listening to the kids' radio show and my nemesis, Mr. ______, the fun young teacher, got Teacher of the Month and was being interviewed. Okay, I love him as much as the rest of them, since he is a genuinely nice guy. However, I am feeling jealous again. I do think he is a little TOO fun, which is what makes the kids love him. But I guess we all want to be popular. I also think in some ways it has to do with being a male teacher. Somehow, because they are males, they already have sort of an aura of authority. They don't have to worry as much about having to make sure they keep that aura up. I know that was really sexist and not fair, but I think it is true. There are plenty of male teachers who have classroom management issues, but I do think it is easier for males to make that balance. Or maybe it is just me. Everyone is always saying how I am such a feminine person, and I am sort of quiet and soft-spoken, so I guess it is harder for me in that way. Anyway, the kids tried to get me to play them rock, paper, scissors for letting them go a minute early. I said no way, and they said that Mr. ____ always does, and then if they lose he lets them go early anyway because he loves them. Too bad, I'm not that kind of fun. I sort of want to go watch him teach and see how his classroom management is. Grrrr. With my luck he will be one of those, "OH, ANYTIME!" teachers. Those kind of teachers make me nervous. How could they possibly be that put together that any time would be a good time for someone to watch? My principal observed me for another pop-in visit and it went okay. They were a little noisy when he first came in but then they were okay. I did manage to knock into the podium at the front of the room, but he didn't seem to notice (?) My friend who went to Nevada to teach told me on her first observation she actually fell over so badly that her boots went up into the air. How embarrassing. I still am not used to people watching me. It definitely helped having one of the instructional assistants in my class all last year, to get used to people besides kids watching, but I am at my best when it is just me and the kids. Ack. One of the many committees I am on has now paired up the mentors with the kids. I am mentoring three kids. I chose them myself, they are all friends, and are all in my classes. They seem very excited and happy to be paired with me. I like them all. I will meet with them once a week. I've kind of dropped off on the exercise but I have promised myself as soon as I feel better that I will get back into it. I hope I keep my promise. In other news, I think I am going to really try to find my father. I asked my mom for all the details and maybe I can get a start somehow. I have tried the internet with not much luck. There are a few different people in the phone book with his name but I feel awkward calling up without knowing for sure it is him. I have to figure out how to make sure it is him. I will probably write a letter rather than call. Thank you, WT, for your input on this. Your email really helped me get another point of view. My mom was also very supportive and great and didn't feel weird or anything about answering my questions. Let's hope that something comes of this. The worst that can happen is that I will be in the same place as I was before. My mom said even if he says that he doesn't want to meet me or talk with me, he still won't be rejecting me because he won't know me yet. I think that is true. I will be disappointed, but at least I will have tried. I've gotten some new students and most seem nice but one is someone I really don't like. I don't often dislike students, but I really just think she is rude. Last year I had her for awhile but then she stopped coming because she was moving somewhere else. She just was rather rude to me most of the time for no good reason. A few days ago I ran into her at the store (she got placed into my class today and I didn't know she was back here at the time). I smiled really big and said hello and she looked at me and didn't say a word, not a smile, nothing. I have never had a kid do that. Even kids I have problems with are always all smiles and happiness if they run into me outside of school. I just thought it was so rude. I know she saw me because right after she walked by I saw her say something and smile to the person she was with (probably "I hate that teacher!") Anyway, I got her in my class today. I hope she feels a little bit of regret for the way she acted now that she has me as a teacher and I control her grade. MWAHAHAHA. I am totally not like that, but I would feel very rude and uncomfortable right now if I were her. There is no reason for rudeness. Oh, there is another exciting thing that I forgot to mention. I finally went to the Asian Market here and bought a bunch of stuff. I know it sounds disgusting, but shrimp flavored chips are so good. I also got these sesame cookies (they taste like fortune cookies and are low in fat) and all of these soup mixes. I don't know if you have ever had Tom Yum soup at Thai restaurants? I always get it, I get the kind with shrimp and mushrooms (not the kind with chicken and coconut milk). It is my favorite soup in the world. Anyway, I found this mix for it! All you have to do is add shrimp, mushrooms and fish oil. It tastes exactly like the restaurants. I felt like a cooking genius. Justin and I made that, and this Hawaiian chicken that I also got a mix for. It was sooooo good. I wish my cooking experiences were always so good because usually I work so hard and it tastes like crap. I was very self-satisfied. I was just sad that they didn't have any Korean New Year's Snacks. I don't know what they are called but I always have them on New Year's at Justin's house (and at other times). They are this soft rice thing that has sweet bean paste inside. They are the best thing ever and I can eat ten million of them. Okay got to go check in with my regulators. You know the song "Regulators" by Warren G? Does he say, "Regulators--round up!" or "Regulators--mount up!" This is a very pressing matter.
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