Boys are so bizarre. So...Tuesday it was "over" with the guy (let's call him something fun like Miguel...but that doesn't sound right, so what can I call him? Does he really deserve a pseudonym? Hmm.). Wednesday he didn't call me. Thursday he called me and acted like things were fine, but then said it was probably better if we didn't see each other. But then ended the conversation as if we still were seeing each other. I was supposed to let him know what I thought about the situation by calling him Friday or Saturday. He called me Friday to "say hi." (Which is a total "relationship" thing, so who wants the relationship?) Saturday he called me and we hung out. Everything was fine and he was doing more "relationship" type things that violated his rules about not wanting a relationship. We talked Sunday. He hasn't called me today. So anyway, exhibit A of bizarre boy behavior. I obviously am not going to count on anything with him because he has already done freak out mode once so could decide he doesn't want to see me after all.
I had some major major major Justin drama that I won't get into here, but it was horrible and probably was one of the worst days of my entire life. So that sucked. And, although I am not going to get into it, it was exhibit B of bizarre boy behavior--he did some things I would have expected earlier on, not five months after we broke up.
And then there is the guy that my friend Anne is trying to set me up with. So supposedly he was interested in me, but I went out with Anne and her husband and a few of their other friends. At first the guy was trying to talk to me a bit, but after a while the other friends decided to leave and the four of us were going to go to another bar. I wasn't really getting much of an "I'm interested" feeling from him, but he had been talking to me here and there before we got to the bar. Well, once we got to the bar (we were there probably 45 minutes to an hour, that's my best estimate) he did not say ANYTHING to me. It was so awkward. He spent the entire time talking to my friend Anne about various things, and I am not really good at trying to talk to someone who isn't really even looking at me. I thought that maybe he would try to include me in the conversation at some point, but he didn't seem to really try to get to know me at all. So by the end of the night I was like...okay this guy is not at all interested in me. Then when we left he was all, "I'll see you guys soon...and I hope to see YOU again soon!" And I was completely confused and so said, "Alright. Bye." in a very awkward and uncomfortable way. Anyway, then Anne and her husband and I debriefed (sorry, that is a total teacher term) in the car on the way to drop them off and he said that in the car on the way over he said he WAS interested. Well, why didn't he talk to me?!?!?! I realize I might make him uncomfortable because I'm shy, but I can usually hold a conversation if someone tries to talk to me. So there was bizarre boy behavior C. And Anne told me that tonight in class he said he wanted her to give me his phone number and definitely was interested but didn't want to push me since I am shy. So anyway, Anne is going to talk with him about his bizarre boy behavior and try to figure out what is up, and then she will give him my phone number because I am too afraid to call him. I said I am willing to give it one more shot, because he does seem like a nice guy, but I am a little worried about his mixed signals/communication-with-me issues. I'm just trying not to overanalyze the whole situation, because that is what I do and it is just not that big of a deal.
The other thing that really sucks is that last week I found out that another student from my first year of teaching died, and this was one that I really loved and cared about. He was only 21, and he was in a car accident where he wasn't wearing a seatbelt and was ejected out of his car window. He died of a head injury. Anyway, he was a great kid. He had the loudest voice ever, and he was always good natured and sweet and funny, and always asked if I would "party" with them (he was one of my senior boys who wanted to be my new best friend). He had the dirtiest mouth but would always apologize immediately. He was just the epitome of what a student in Hicktown USA was like...he always wore a plaid jacket, he was really tall and gruff and manly and didn't care much about school. He just wanted to graduate high school and go to work. He liked living in Hicktown and didn't want to leave like some of the other kids did. This was such a blow to me, finding out he died. I really liked that kid a lot. I showed some of the kids at school his picture (because I already had it in my scrapbook I made) and they thought it was the saddest thing ever. It really is.
On a positive note, my new elective is the best elective ever in life and I love it. I will probably teach it next term, too. My other classes are going well (but gone are the days of being planned a month in advance--I'm not even sure what I am doing on Thursday. UGH. I hate that feeling). My kids are sweet and well behaved lately. So that's all good.
The biggest stress right now is that I am spending way too much money...I'm going to cancel all but the local cable channels to save some money, but I am still going to be broke. I need to figure out a budget and stick to it. I think it is pretty pathetic that I had to put groceries on my credit card and I don't get paid until the 25th. Yeah, it's that bad right now. I hadn't even been using my credit card until Christmas and it's all gone downhill from there. Get it together! Part of me thinks I should get a roommate, but the thought of living with someone else makes me want to die, so I am not doing it.
