I hate boys. More specifically, 31 year old boys who think I want a relationship with them even when I repeatedly have said that I don't. Boys who can't just let things be fun and relaxed when they say they don't want drama, but instead create drama when there isn't any. Boys who obviously didn't like me that much in the first place if they are willing to stop seeing me over something ridiculous. Boys who make me feel like I've done something wrong when I haven't. Boys who all have the same stupid issue, but pretended that they didn't.
I hate being the one who is rejected all of the time. What is it about me that says, "I am in need of a relationship and you are going to be the one who gives it to me." Yes, I wanted a relationship with Nathan. No, I didn't want a relationship with the new guy. I didn't even like him THAT MUCH, yet of course it is him who ends things with me, because I guess that's how it works in my life.
It's just hard not to feel like there is something wrong with me when at first these guys are all excited about me and they think I'm cute and smart and fun and all of that, but then they get to know me better and they think I am some freak show because I dare show emotion about something, or dare get upset about something, or do some obscure "I want a relationship" thing that violates the "No relationship" rule book that I don't have a copy of. Not to make a vast generalization based on two 31 year olds that I know, but it seems to me if you are 31 and still single there is a reason why--YOU'RE a freakshow when it comes to relationships and you don't know how to deal with women very well.
This time I thought I was doing things right, but apparently even if the guy does not fit into any of the "He's just not that into you" categories, it is still possible that he is just not that into you anyway.
Anyway, that totally sucked because I was having fun, but oh well.
My friend had me meet her friend from her program, and I guess he is at least somewhat interested, and I am interested as well, so we'll see what happens with that. He seemed like a nice guy. Let's hope he doesn't find out what a freakshow I apparently am until he is sucked too deeply into my evil lair of freakshowness....just kidding.
This whole dating thing is really, really hard. The End.
