Things have been pretty good lately. I have been feeling happy for the most part, and have been having fun at work and just in general. My team has been a lot of fun lately, and they have been teasing me non-stop about various things I said at the party that I mentioned last time I wrote. I was so happy at the party that I kept saying things like, "I am having the best time ever!" so they always tease me by saying some variation of that. They also tease me because I went on and on about how beautiful the new girl on our team is, and I guess embarrassed her a little bit. Anyway, it is fun that we are all getting along so well this year. Not that we didn't get along last year, but the energy is really great now.
I also felt really good because I am becoming better friends with the new girl on our team. Let's call her...Scarlett, because she looks a little like her. Last week she invited me to go with her and her friends to see Marie Antoinette. It ended up being just three of us, but the weirdest coincidence was that her friend was someone I went to middle school with! It was a small school, and she was friends with some of my friends. Anyway, I remembered all of these details like what boy she liked that year and stuff like that, and it was really funny. I also really liked the movie. It was slow, but I really loved the way it was from her perspective and I loved the costumes and setting. I need to go back to France! I also am a big Kirsten Dunst fan. I am a sucker for actresses that have teeth that are a little messed up...I don't know why. Oh, that's right, because I have teeth that are a little messed up! Ha ha. Anyway, I really enjoyed it, and I was really happy that she invited me.
The other cool thing is that we realized there weren't many barnyard animal costumes, so we ended up going with the roaring 20s. Scarlett and I are both wearing flapper outfits (hers is red and mine is black). The guys just have to wear suits and special hats. I am so excited, and really hopeful that everyone does it. I am a little unsure if the special ed teacher and social studies teacher are going to do it. We'll see. Unfortunately, our math teacher seems to be having a relapse with her health problems. I can't talk about it without getting teary eyed and choked up, so I try to avoid thinking about it. I really hope that she gets better soon. I miss her.
I did have a setback with the whole Chad issue. He asked me to come over and I did. I am a weak, weak person sometimes. Anyway, I have to get a handle on things. However, he has been helping me in figuring out stuff and shopping for my latest thing...
My new TV! I have the crappiest tv set in the world that I have had for years, and I am now getting a new one. I am getting a 37 inch LCD flatscreen TV. I am so excited about it. But that means that I have to get...a tv stand, a new DVD player (I already bought it), and eventually I need to get a surround sound system. Right now I am going to hook it up to my stereo. I also ordered dish network so I will have HD tv and cable, and I got the HD DVR. I am so excited! I haven't been a big tv person lately, but I miss watching it and I can't wait to be able to record shows on the DVR.
It's obscene that I just spend $1000.00 on a tv, isn't it? I can't quite believe it. But I had a little money saved up and I really, really wanted it. I ordered it online, so it should be here on Tuesday.
I have been so busy lately, which is probably why I have been so happy. I also went to trivia night last night with another new girl from my school who lives in my apartment. That was really fun. I also went to happy hour with my coworkers last weekend and got in a huge fight with Justin over it. He reminded me why we are not right for each other because he flips out over the stupidest things. I had plans to go with Justin to happy hour, but he had earlier said that he wanted to hang out later and see a movie. So when coworkers asked me to go to happy hour, I called him and left a message at lunch asking if we could change plans, but if not I wouldn't go...well, apparently he never got the message. He never called back, so I went ahead and went with my coworkers, thinking that if he called me I would be able to leave pretty quickly. He called me in the middle of happy hour, so I left the table to talk to him. When I said that I was at happy hour he reacted in such a jerky way because I was supposed to go with him--he totally overreacts. I explained that I left the message, but he just kept going on and on about how it is like I don't care about him, blah blah blah. Anyway, I hate nothing more than being off talking to my boyfriend (he isn't my boyfriend) when he is going off on me, when I am supposed to be hanging out with friends. So I just said I didn't want to do this...why can't he be more normal? He acts like it is the end of the world that I tried to change plans when I called and left him a message and said that I wouldn't go if he couldn't hang out later on. Anyway, I ended up not hanging out with him. He was also acting like it was such a big deal that he needed to see me before he went hunting for a week and a half--um, we have gone whole months without hanging out, and he has a girlfriend, so what's the deal with him acting like my boyfriend? Anyway, it was not a good situation.
I had a weird incident with my therapist this week...first of all she mentioned that I often cut myself off when I start getting into emotional territory. Like I will stop talking about it and say anyway and change the subject. I'm not sure if she is right or not, but it is something to be aware of. She also says that I am unbelievably hard on myself and self-critical. Hmm. Anyway, the weird incident was this...she said, "This sense of lacking control sort of goes back to your struggles in the past with bullimia." Well, she obviously had me mixed up with someone else (she mainly works with girls who have eating disorders, so it wasn't a big surprise). I said, "Um, I haven't had bullimia." Then she said, "Anorexia?" I said no, that she must have confused me with someone else...well then she says she is really sorry and says that it came up because she has noticed that I have lost weight. How sick is it that I got all excited that she thought I was skinny enough to have suffered an eating disorder in the past? I also haven't lost weight and have been eating a lot and haven't been exercising more than 2-3 times a week. So maybe I am losing muscle and that is why I look thinner? I am not sure...but that was sick. And it was weird and felt a bit uncomfortable, but she also felt awful that she said it, I could tell. I felt bad for her. I also think that she is pregnant, but it isn't to a point where it's obvious, so I can't ask about it. I wonder if she will bring it up one of these days.
Last night I went bowling with coworkers, and I had such a good time. I am the worst bowler in the world, and have my own special technique of bowling, so I got teased a lot about it. But I actually did have a few strikes. I got to hang out with Mandy (who still hasn't officially announced that she is pregnant, and it is killing me to keep it a secret). I also got to spend time with some people I haven't spent time with much outside of work. After we were done bowling we went to one of the social studies teacher's houses. His house was so clean it was unbelievable. It was really cute. Anyway, I was kind of having a crush on two of my coworkers. I definitely would not get involved with anyone from work again, but it is kind of fun to have a crush on someone. I bowled on a team with another literature/social studies teacher, Nathan, and Mandy. One thing that happened was that Nathan asked me, "What about (social studies teacher)?" as a love interest. I said no, and he asked, "Not your type?" and I said that he was nice, but I found it was best not to get involved with people you work with. He laughed and said that was probably true, so it was kind of a funny moment between us. We had another one of those last week when we were talking with Scarlett in his room. We were talking about my friend K, who he has been friends with. I said that I missed her and felt like she just didn't want to be my friend, and he said, "I hope that wasn't out of loyalty to me." So that was a weird moment as well. It's like we keep having these almost conversations about how we are finally becoming friends again, but we have not had a real conversation about it. I don't know if I need to have that conversation to finally feel okay about him or what.
The other thing is that we decided to give compliments to each other at the end of last night. This is something we started doing our first Las Vegas trip after a really, really bad gossip session. I complimented Nathan by saying that he has been doing a really great job as team leader and I love the positive energy that we have on our team now because of him. He seemed to like that. Then everyone else had a turn complimenting someone, too. When it was his turn he said he wanted to compliment me, but his compliment was too personal for the whole group, so he complimented someone else. Mandy speculated on the way home that the compliment was probably that he likes where we are now--that we are getting past old stuff and can be friendly again. I wonder...knowing him we will never talk about it.
So the whole crush thing is pretty silly. One of the guys I had a really great conversation with at lunch one time, and ever since we have discovered new ways that we click. We like a lot of the same music, and a lot of the same shows, and I don't meet many people who like the same bands as I do. He even loves Liz Phair and Sex and the City. And yes, he is straight! So I was kind of having a crush on him...and then I also am having a crush on my other coworker. It was really weird because I did a random act of kindness for him (he had said the other day his favorite flavor of clif bars, but said he never could find them, so when I was at trader joe's I bought him three of them) and then he asked at lunch who he had to thank for it. I didn't say anything because it was a random act of kindness (we do this at our school a lot, and I love getting and receiving them). Anyway, yesterday during our inservice we were talking about something and then he said, "You know, you're my prime suspect for the clif bars!" I just said, "Oh really?" and then the other crush boy said, "Oh yeah, did you find out who did it?" Finally I admitted it and felt really embarrassed, and both of them said that they thought it had been me. You're not supposed to guess who your random acts of kindness are from! Anyway, at bowling when they came around to ask if we wanted more drinks, he asked me if I wanted another beer. I said yes and got my wallet but he insisted on paying for my drink...I guess because of the random act of kindess. But I was obviously loving it because I love it when someone buys me a drink, and also because I have a little crush on him! What was even weirder was that later on when I was filing this girl's nails (she broke her nail and Mandy had a nail file), some of the guys were joking around that they wanted their nails filed too. The girl said to me quietly, "I bet you would like it if Mr. ____ wanted his nails filed!" I have no idea how she had any clue about that since she wasn't around when we were ordering drinks!
Seriously, could I be anymore of a middle school teacher? Constant gossip and speculation...
