Things have been pretty good lately...nothing too interesting has happened. I went on a date with my coworker, which was weird but I had a pretty good time. It is definitely too soon for me to be dating, though, and I don't really think that he is for me. Maybe he is too nice. He seems really into me, so of course that is a huge turn-off. Ha ha. Not really. Most guys seem that way in the beginning. I really don't think he has any clue what I am actually like. Apparently he finds it charming how self-deprecating I am. We said that we would hang out again and I said that we would watch season one of Grey's Anatomy and he was all into it, or acted like he would be. I don't know if that will actually happen, though, because of my mixed feelings about the whole situation. Dating someone at work is so awkward even when it is going well. Anyway, he has been calling me, but we barely ever actually talk because I miss his call or he misses my returned calls. I was also sick for two days...
I had two big tests of my resolve to avoid acting like a drunken fool around coworkers, and I did a really good job. The first test was a wine and cheese party. I was going with three other coworkers, and we went to one house first for a drink beforehand. I purposely designated myself as the driver so I would control myself. I had two drink total throughout the night (and we were there from 7:00 PM until almost two in the morning!). I had fun, but it definitely was not as exciting as it is when I am drinking. It was a really mellow party anyway, and no one did anything crazy. We played Catchphrase, which is my new favorite game. I also talked to Nathan some. He is all into the idea of online dating now that he and his woman broke up. Almost all of the teachers in my little group of friends now have myspace accounts and it is just ridiculous and embarrassing. I had deleted my old myspace, but I made a new one. All it is is email with pictures, but for some reason we are all addicted to it. Anyway, I guess he is going to try to use it to date, but right now he only has one cheesy picture and three friends (us). Chad also has myspace now and he keeps leaving me these dumb comments that I love/hate. I had to delete a few .
My second drinking test was more of an actual test because I wasn't the designated driver. I went to our Christmas party last night with my friend Mandy. I said that I would have two drinks total, and I stuck to it. I definitely wouldn't have minded drinking more, but two drinks was a very good limit for me. I had a good time. There was karaoke (which I will never, ever do ), and some of us played board games. I wore a new outfit and got many compliments on my new shoes...I should take a picture. They are red and pointy. I also was wearing a red shirt that was kind of asian-looking. I love new clothes! Anyway, my shoes totally made me understand Carrie from Sex and the City. I like shoes, and have many pairs, but I have never really felt as strongly about shoes as other clothing items. These shoes are like an awakening--they make me feel so sexy and wonderful.
Nathan wasn't there because his ex-girlfriend's father is dying. I feel really bad for her, and I feel bad about all of the smack I have talked about her. It's not like I ever wished any harm on her, I just wished that she and Nathan would break up, but I feel bad that she had to go through a breakup and losing her father at the same time. She is taking a leave of absence to deal with it.
Nathan said that the two of them had been having problems for about a year and that they had tried to work on it for all of that time, but ultimately broke up. Wow, who knew? I guess I should just never be jealous of other couples because most of them are miserable together anyway.
I think that I am growing as a person because I am actually at the point where I want to be alone for awhile. That is a huge thing for me because I ALWAYS long for a boyfriend. I know that I said that I need to take a break from boys and that I am going to try to do that, but I didn't say that because that was what I wanted, I just felt like that was what I needed. Now I kind of just want that, too. We'll see if this feeling lasts.
I gave in and hung out with Chad for the first time in three or four weeks on Friday. That was a mistake (although nothing sexual happened between us, and I went home instead of spending the night like I normally would). The main reason that it was a mistake was that we decided to see The Holiday. Light, romantic comedy, right? Well, it was not at all light! The Kate Winslet character has this horrible situation with a coworker where she has been in love with him forever but he got involved with someone else at her work (sound familiar), but yet will not leave her alone. That hit a little too close to home with my Nathan and Chad situation, and I spent much of the movie crying! Even when there were happy parts and the characters found hope, etc, I just kept thinking I would never find happiness with a guy, etc. So Chad had to deal with my crying fit afterward, and I was hoping that it would just be a normal, friendly time together. I knew it wouldn't be like that, though, but I went anyway because I missed him. Obviously it is way too soon for us to be just friends again. He has now resolved not to call me anymore for awhile, so he'll probably go a week without calling me and then the cycle will continue. How fun. What is good about this, though, is that I feel like I am stronger about not getting sucked back in.
I haven't exercised since the week of Thanksgiving! I am going back tomorrow and I am determined not to get back out of shape. I can already see my arms are losing muscle, and it is making me so mad! I also just miss the feeling of exercising. It's just so hard to get myself to go when it is cold and rainy and dark. One of my new friends from work wants to join 24-hour fitness and go with me at least three times a week, so that will be a good motivator. I invited her to go with me this coming week so that she can check it out.
We have winter break really early this year. Our last day is this Friday. I can't wait! It's so nice to be almost done. I was really sick last week, so I missed two days, so I don't need the break as desperately as some other people probably do. I am still really looking forward to it. I can't wait to clean my house really, really well.
Jasmine had her baby the day before Thanksgiving, and she was in labor for FORTY HOURS! She finally had to get a C-section (she was adamantly against getting one) and so that was really disappointing for her, but come on--after 40 hours I think I would do anything to get that thing out of me. I need to try to go see the baby soon. I am looking forward to meeting him.
I only have read 20 books this year, and 20 last year. That's pretty pathetic. I hope I can do better next year. I need to spend a lot less time on the internet and a lot more time watching movies and reading books.
