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2007-09-24 - 4:52 p.m. P and I broke up last night. It was fun while it lasted, and now I am devastated again. I feel like I don't even want to try anymore. This is a guy who was really genuinely nice and caring and made me feel more special than I ever have. This is someone who I thought might actually fall in love with me, but instead I just got hurt again. It's the same thing that it always is, that things are getting too serious and they aren't ready. When will anyone be ready to get serious with me? I feel like I did everything right this time, too. I wasn't too needy or clingy. I just went with the flow, I didn't pressure him. We didn't even ever get into a fight (which is pretty uncommon for me). He never did anything to let me down or disappoint me. But now it's over and he's gone. I'm guessing this will be like the whole Ben thing, where we aren't friends and we never talk again, which makes me so sad. Why am I always so easily discarded? When will I ever find real love? I thought he was going to have more of a purpose in my life than I guess he was meant to--could his only purpose be to get me away from Chad? It wasn't long enough to do that.
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