I haven't decided what to do about that missed connection business. I need to figure it out before it disappears...although I could just go into the bar and see him.
There's something strangely appealing to me about dating a bartender. Maybe because I'm an alcoholic? Ha ha.
I have been good, but not great. I'm trying to live my life in a more positive way, but I can't completely talk the smack talk. I'm not doing the best with dating right now. The match.com thing hasn't been the greatest. I went on a few more dates, both of which were not impressive or fun to write about so I won't even bother. I was already into the guy that I am currently dating, so it was hard to even give them a fair shot. There are a number of guys on there that I could go out with, but I don't get excited enough about anyone to keep up the correspondence. It all just seems like too much of an effort, and I guess I am lazy? Part of me just feels like I'm not ready. If I was ready and excited about it then I would be doing it. Why did I choose now to join it then, and pay all that money? I need to quit soon if I don't start really using it. I am just not good at putting out effort to date if I sort of have someone I am dating...
So I am still seeing the guy that I mentioned a few entries ago. It is not going anywhere because he is moving back to his hometown. He is also kind of a hick and has really weird ideas and pushes my buttons. What I liked so much about him was that we had these long deep conversations, which I haven't had with a guy in...maybe years? Our third date we literally spent three hours talking about issues, when normally I would have spent that time making out...so I was so into that. He was also sweet and positive and seemed really into me. But that kind of all changed once he decided he was moving. We're still hanging out, but it seems like since he is moving he doesn't want to get close to me (which is understandable, and I am feeling the same way). So he isn't putting out as much effort or being as sweet--and if he was my soul mate he wouldn't be moving to Utah. I kind of felt like I would keep seeing him even if it wouldn't go anywhere because it was safe. I'm not afraid of it ending because I already know it's ending. But it's also not fun to know you can't really put yourself out there and that there is no chance of it developing into something deeper. So I am kind of in limbo with that. I think if he wasn't moving it probably would be over because he doesn't give me what I need, but if he wasn't moving maybe he would be giving me what I needed. If that makes sense.
I am eating way too much and barely exercising, and I gained back the five pounds I lost on the personal trainer healthy eating plan. I am disgusted with myself. And currently eating my second kit kat of the night. :)
I need to get it together because I am in my friend's wedding in May and I want to look cute. We're getting the dresses from J Crew, and I am getting the Lydia one. It is so so so cute. I tried on a dress at J Crew the other day to see what size I would need to order, and that one was so cute I would have bought it too if it wasn't 100 dollars. As it is, this wedding is going to be a ridiculous amount of money for me because I am in it and have to fly there and pay for a hotel for two nights. What a nightmare. I don't have the money to do this at all.
Which brings me to the most exciting news EVER. I am buying a condo.I have narrowed it down to two choices, and I went and got pre-approved for a loan. The only reason I can afford to do it is because my mom inherited some money and she is giving it to me for a down payment. I am so excited. I feel guilty, but I grew up really poor. I never even lived in a house before. So to have something just handed to me...well, I feel like I deserve it. So there. So the condos--it's kind of hard to decide between them, although I am leaning toward the more expensive one (of course).
So condo A is pretty close to where I live now (I hate where I live now, but it is really close to work). It isn't in a nice neighborhood, but it's not bad or anything. It's a really nice condo with everything new. It had hardwood floors in the kitchen and living room. It has black appliances, including the kind of stove I have always dreamed of (the flat one with the burners built in, so it is a smooth surface). It doesn't come with a fridge or washer/dryer, so I would have to buy those. It's two bedroom/two bath with plenty of closet space. It's nice. Condo B is a lot closer in, and pretty close to some cool places like my favorite gym and the Belmont/Hawthorne area. It's still not super far from work, and I like the nearby neighborhood. There is a coffee shop, that bar I mentioned (this is ten blocks from my friend Liza's house), a wine bar and a second run theater (plus a bunch of small restaurants). I love that. It's also a condo set on a hill, which makes for a cool view and it is super close to the freeway. I love the condo itself. It is two bedrooms one bath, though, and it is smaller than the other one. I love the color of the wallls and the way they decorated the model--it looks very modern and young. The floors are bamboo, and the cabinets are really nice. The appliances are also nice, and it comes with the fridge and washer/dryer. The down side is that the closets are super small and there is not a lot of storage. Another down side is that it is more expensive. I also would have to buy some new furniture (which I want to do either way, but I don't really have money for) to make it fit the modern look. I love the modern look, though. I could start small (new couch) and slowly get the other stuff. So the other one would be about 130 more per month than what I pay now. This one would most likely be 200-250 over. They do pay the HOA fees for the first year, though, so I could put aside what I got for taxes next year and pay those each year. So that might not be too big of a problem. Anyway, the big thing is...what is more important to me? I would be happy with either, but I feel like I would be most happy with condo B. If I could get it decorated the way I want, it would make me happy and proud. I do think I would be happy and proud about the other one, too, but not as much...and the location is just not great. So...we'll see what happens. Hopefully everything will come together easily and be wonderful. I can't wait! I am going to look at both of them one last time with my mom and the real estate agent, and then make my final decision and maybe make an offer on Saturday!
So good things are happening to me. Still working on being happy. Especially with Valentine's Day tomorrow. But...I'm going to see STEP UP 2 with Liza (it opens on Valentine's Day, because what could be more romantic?!?!?!) I can't wait.
