So last night I went out with British Boy. There were good things and bad things about this date, but it was good enough that I am going out with him again on Thursday. So, I was a little nervous about the whole fancy restaurant thing. I have a few casual outfits that I usually wear on these kinds of first-meetings, and because of the fancy restaurant aspect I wanted to dress up a little bit. I ended up wearing this cute Chinese-style red shirt and red heels with dark jeans. I got there first but he was also a little early. He said immediately that I looked very nice and that he was very nervous. His accent, of course, is adorable. He had sent me an email before our date saying he felt a little uncomfortable with the whole eHarmony thing because it is weird communicating with multiple people trying to figure out if you like them or not. Well, I had sent him an email trying to reassure him saying that it usually sorts itself out when you meet in person and figure out who you would like to spend more time with. I said that sometimes you meet and think the person is nice or fun or cute but the chemistry isn't there. I said all of this to reassure him that it would be no big deal if we met and didn't hit it off the way we thought we would. Well, as I came to find out, this actually made him more nervous and did not reassure him whatsoever!
He immediately asked if I wanted to share an appetizer, so I chose the antipasti (we were at an Italian restaurant). Then he asked if I wanted to share a bottle of wine. I have never gone to a restaurant and shared a bottle of wine with a guy--P asked one time if I wanted to get one but I said no. But I went ahead and said okay. He said he didn't really know anything about Italian wine, so he asked the waitress to recommend one. It was actually really, really good, so that was nice. Then we ordered our meals. I was a little worried but the food was SO GOOD. I mean, really, really good. I got a pork chop with summer vegetables, which turned out to be greens, carrots and squash. He got lamb, which was definitely not as good as mine, but he seemed to like it. Even though he was nervous (and so was I), I thought overall we had a good conversation. He was an interesting person, and obviously thoughtful and intelligent. We talked about various things including politics, etc. We seemed very much on the same page in that area (honestly, conservatives are very much the minority in Portland, and it is rare that you come across one--at least people our age). I was having a good time and overall I thought he was too. Well, at the end he asked if I wanted coffee or dessert, and I said no. He paid the bill as soon as it came (and I really decided I was not going to offer to help pay because I don't think I could have afforded it, and I thought it was obvious from how he was acting that he was planning on paying). So I had asked one time during the dinner if he felt more comfortable and he said in his very British way that things felt a bit forced. That made me feel weird, but I wasn't sure. So then I asked him at the end if this was the first of the eHarmony people he had met, and he said yes. He then proceeded to say that he didn't think that he was cut out for it and didn't think he could do it again! He felt like it was a job interview. I felt really, really bad. I said I was sorry he felt uncomfortable. He said that obviously I know what I want (I had mentioned in one of my emails that I had tried match.com and hadn't really connected with most of the guys on there). I said that I know somewhat but that obviously I don't have everything figured out or wouldn't be there. Anyway, I felt really sad and disappointed at this point--not only did he not like me but also I ruined internet dating for him altogether and he didn't want to try it again (remember this is the first internet date he had ever been on). So we get up to leave and walk outside and I thanked him for dinner. He says, "You're welcome. Here's my car right here. Take care." And he practically RUNS to his car. So I walked myself to MY car and felt really sad! I had thought we were having fun, so it was extra disappointing.
Well then on my way home he sends me a text that says, "Sorry I couldn't be more natural this evening. You looked great and seem like a lot of fun." Talk about mixed messages?!?!?! So I sent a message back that said, "Well...thanks? I had a fun time until you rejected me. :) Sorry you were uncomfortable, it can be awkward." Well, then he immediately called me. He apologized for making me feel like he had rejected me and said that when I had said that when we met we would see if we had chemistry he felt pressure that I was looking for it and maybe I thought that it wasn't there, which made him more nervous. Then he also said that I had gone out with these other guys from match.com and they hadn't measured up, so he thought for sure that he wasn't. (?!) I told him that I had said that to try to alleviate his fears and that I didn't mean it that way at all. He also said that he had liked me and when he had first started open communication with me (and this is what got me--imagine this with an adorable accent), "I thought not only is she stunning, but we also have a lot in common." So we were both laughing about the whole thing, and I said that I felt the same way--the whole time you are nervous because you are wondering if the other person is into you or not, so it can get in the way. So I said, "Now that you know that I am interested would you want to hang out again?" He said he would, and I asked him if he was just being nice because he felt bad and he said no not at all, he doesn't bullshit and he does want to hang out. So we made plans for Thursday.
So I was feeling a lot better about it, and despite feeling so bad at the time, I thought it was kind of endearing that he was so nervous and real about that. He ended up emailing me today and apologized again and then gave me about five different possible suggestions for what we could do on Thursday. One of which is...get this: "We could go out on my boat. I'm a decent cook, so I could cook you dinner on the boat, or we could go to one of the floating restaurants on the river." So yeah, that sounds like the option that I am going for. My only fear is that when we took a boat ride in Costa Rica and I felt a tiny bit sea sick on the ride. Hopefully it will be okay. But obviously I should not feel bad about him paying for dinner when he owns a boat (he also owns a house in one of the wealthiest suburbs of Portland).
We'll see how our second date goes. I think he will be a lot less nervous. Oh, he also mentioned how beautiful I am in his email, so his four compliment total=Ms. Compliment Whore's minimum quota. Ha ha.
I am meeting up with the Audrey Hepburn lover tomorrow. I am no Audrey Hepburn, so hopefully he will still like me. We are meeting for a drink. He was super funny in his emails, so I just hope we hit it off because I like funny guys. He said he is free between 5-6, so I guess he wants to keep it short. That's fine with me.
This other guy I had been playing phone tag with. I wasn't super excited about him, but he said he was going to call today and hasn't. I wonder if we got confused, though, because I had sent him an email before listening to his message saying that I would call him today. So? Maybe he was waiting for me to call. Maybe I will call him tomorrow. I don't know.
Really, I haven't been too excited with most of the people they have matched me up with on eHarmony. I also think some of them might not really be subscribers because I have gotten some that haven't contacted me OR closed the matches. So who knows.
I got my hair done today and my hairdresser (male, but not gay) said he might have someone to fix me up with. He said he is a new client and he has to find out more about him first. I love my hairdresser SO MUCH. He is married and is super cute and nice. It's also fun getting a guy's perspective on dating because he is straight up about it and interprets the guy's behavior. Like he told me that P was just keeping me on the backburner just in case, which was so true (this was a while ago). I hope he really does fix me up. My friend from work has someone to fix me up with, too, but that is taking forever. We'll see if it ever happens.
I also went shopping for Eliza's birthday and went for a walk with Olivia. I am so lucky to have such nice friends. I am still jealous that Eliza is spending so much time with her new boyfriend, but she did ask me to hang out tomorrow (I felt like lately I always am the one asking her to hang out). And we are hanging out on her birthday, too.
