I had a minor setback with dating, and his name is Chad. But I did not give in to that terrible disaster of a situation. It did make me cancel three dates in one weekend. Two of the three daters still wanted to stick around, despite me explaining to them exactly what was going on...
So I am going on my third date with British Boy tonight. We are going to another restaurant, which he has been to before and likes. We are also going to a movie, and he is making me choose the movie. SO do I go with the one I really want to see, Pineapple Express, or do I go with one that I kind of want to see? I listed six different movies as possibilities and he said he was fine with any of them and wanted me to choose. We'll see...while I believe that I should be entirely myself (and I have a terrible weakness for stoner movies), that seems to be the kind of movie that you can't really enjoy as much if the other person isn't into it. And I don't know him well enough to know if he is into it.
Right now British Boy is acting like he thinks I am the coolest girl he has ever met in his life. He was nice about the whole, "My ex-boyfriend suddenly wants to get back together and although I do not want to, I am feeling sad and conflicted and not ready to date after all, so I have to cancel our third date." He basically said if I changed my mind he would like to go out again and continued to contact me (almost too much, to be honest). So I decided to go out again. I feel somewhat guilty even though I have NO REASON TO. I am very sad still about not talking to Chad for a while because we talk every day and I consider him one of my very best friends. But I had already moved on and dated lots of other people. I don't need to mourn a breakup with someone who I wasn't together with. I do really miss him, but I know I made the right decision. It didn't work before, and even when he says that he wanted to put 100% into trying to make it work this time, I couldn't truly believe him.
Not to mention, I went back and read the archives to this and realized it was almost exactly a year ago that I was going through THE EXACT SAME THING with him--I was starting to date again and then he wanted to get back together, and even suggested couples counseling, just like this time.
What's hard is that I got kind of sucked back in, and I do still love and care for him, but ultimately I told him that I did not want to get back together. I am proud of myself. I am tired of being with people who make me unhappy, and I already know he makes me unhappy.
Speaking of people who make me unhappy, I talked to Justin yesterday. I haven't seen him in almost a year because of his WIFE feeling insecure about it. Anyway, I am so over that situation, and I could care less if I have to go over to their house to meet her. I said that he could ask her again if she would meet me and say that if that is what makes her feel most comfortable I will do it. They are married now, and officially trying to get pregnant (puke), so you would think that would be enough for her not to be insecure over it anymore. I'm not loving the idea of going to their house, especially since it is ALL THE WAY OUT IN TIGARD, but if that's what it takes for us to be friends that's fine. They are also going to Korea to visit his mom's family with his parents. So that reminded me, once again, why I am so glad we are not together. I don't have to go on a family vacation with people I can't stand. Yay!
Not to be bitter or anything, but for some reason I have started reading a bunch of blogs that were recommended to me by my feed reader. I am fascinated with weddings and wedding planning, even though it makes me sad, and it is interesting to see how seriously people take things. Yes, I can imagine that if my invitations did not look exactly as I had imagined, I might be upset. But somehow I can't seem to muster up any sympathy for these people. Oh, boo hoo, your wedding invitations aren't perfect, how about being grateful that you are GETTING MARRIED TO THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE? How about being grateful that you don't have to go on a bunch of internet dates and deal with the three year on/off nightmare that I have been putting myself through?
Okay, that was a little much even for me. I am not even that bitter, and it is ironic that I am calling people out for getting dramatic/upset over small setbacks because I am the queen of that myself. I am sure that when/if I get married, I will be the same way.
Speaking of marriages, the girl who is getting married that is friends with P sent out invitations and an evite so she could more easily keep track. Well, so far P just RSVPed for himself (no +guest). So I am hopeful that it will stay that way so I don't have to feel like a loser when I don't have a +guest either. In other awkward news, the girl he dated right after me will be at both the bachelorette party and wedding (and he actually invited both of us over recently for a small party). Um, awkward. I don't think she knows about me, but I know about her. Whatever, I am secure in the fact that I am cuter than her, even if she is funnier than me. And now that I am over him, who cares? It only took almost a year to get over him, and the relationship lasted about two months, but who's counting?
This is my last official day of vacation, can you believe it? I hate it that I have to go back to work, but I am also excited. My class sizes are all 30-31, so that will be harder. Last year we had 136 kids total and this year we have 156. I still think this year is going to be wonderful. I can't believe it will be my ninth year teaching. I have been teaching almost a decade. I am so old.
I hope I write more about the kids this year. I feel like in the last few years I have detached myself more than I originally did. There is nothing like your first few years of teaching, and I will remember those kids the rest of my life, but I want every year and every set of kids to be just as meaningful. I think there is a difference between high school and middle school in that high schoolers are more fully formed as people and you get them longer. It's also easier to become attached to them when you live by yourself in a tiny town and have no friends or much of a life outside of your job. Since I teach eighth grade, I only get them for one year. They often come back to visit, but they are much easier to forget than my high schoolers were. Except for the really bad ones and the ones that I really loved.
Oh, speaking of, I have a terrible disgusting story to tell about one of the ones I loved. I had two favorites this year, one of whom is the perfect child. I mean, this boy is adorable (he reminds me a little of Justin because his mom is Asian), sweet, smart, funny, has wonderful parents, is a great singer, does student council, plays sports, etc. He's not just smart, he's wise. Anyway, he's one of the best kids I have ever had. So one day toward the end of the year, I had two of my students stay in for lunch because they were bad in class. I made them wash desks, but overall my punishment did not seem to make them feel too bad because they spent the time talking with me. So
bad boy #1 (the most difficult kid we had on our team last year, but I always seem to get along with the bad boys) starts complaining about how life isn't fair, he always gets in trouble blah blah. I don't know where this comes from, but he starts talking about how he always gets in trouble for hugging his girlfriend (kids at our school aren't even allowed to hug, it's very strict about PDA). He then proceeds to tell me that dream boy does bad things, too, but that he doesn't ever get in trouble. Back in the beginning of the year, we got all of the kids out in the team pod area and turned out the lights so we could watch a movie as a reward. Well, according to bad boy #1, "Dream boy fingered ________ during the movie." Yes, he just announced to his teacher that "fingering" was going on AT SCHOOL. Then bad boy #2 tells me that he isn't going to lie, he also has fingered a girl at school. WHY WOULD THEY TELL ME THIS?!?!?!?!? I was so grossed out. I'm not so innocent as to think that none of our students are having sex, but doing that AT SCHOOL and telling THEIR TEACHER? And the perfect child is the one who did it? Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww. I was seriously appalled.
On that note, I have to go figure out what I am wearing on my date.
