Justin and I officially broke up on Saturday. It was pretty awful, but I feel a huge sense of relief. He has agreed to move out (I said it was his choice whether I move or he does), but I'm not sure exactly when that will happen. He is still really reluctant to tell anyone, but I think he will end up moving in with his brother.
I know that what I have done will really hit me once he is gone, but right now I am just sort of in limbo. I'm really incredibly sad about everything, but I feel like I made the right decision. If things get too strange with us both staying here I am going to stay with my mom for awhile. I hope that doesn't happen. We seem to be getting along okay, but we got into a big fight about the whole thing yesterday because he feels like I should give us more of a chance. I just can't.
School stuff is starting, though, so that will keep my mind off of things. The first day for our eighth graders is really late this year, but we started a few meetings this week, and next week we will start inservice on Wednesday. We do have a four-day weekend for labor day, though.
I've continued to hang out with friends from work to keep my mind off of things. I am so glad that I don't have to go through everything completely alone. I think I got into a bad habit with Justin, depending on him for everything. I really don't want to do that again in the future.
I think the hardest thing about this is being afraid that I might be making a mistake, but I made a decision and I will deal with whatever happens. I am so sad that I had to break Justin's heart in the process, but I really do feel like I am doing the right thing. I hope so.
They are having a class in my classroom this week, which means I can't go in and set up my stuff or work there until next week. I am kind of annoyed by that. We will have time to work on things next week, but it would be nice to get things out of the way. One of my goals is to make my classroom look a lot more inviting and nice this year.
I'm going to lunch with Elizabeth today. We're having Thai food and I am so excited to eat it. I'm starving, but since it is a buffet I am going to wait to eat until I get there so I can eat as much as possible. I know that is horrible from a dieting type standpoint, but I am not dieting.
I saw Garden State the other day, which I thought was really good. I loved the music in the movie, too. I think I am going to see Open Water this week, which I am kind of looking forward to, but it also looks like my worst nightmare.
