I wonder when I will decide that drinking is just not worth it. It seems like some people have no problems with alcohol, but me and alcohol just don't seem to get along.
So I was super excited over going to this holiday party of someone I work with. I was really looking forward to it. This would be my chance to have some wine, get to know people better, and maybe actually make friends. This plan went horribly wrong.
It all started with Justin getting sick. He decided he didn't want to go to the party, but he would drop me off and pick me up so I could have fun and not worry about driving home. I was a bit nervous about going alone, but I figured everything would work out. Well, to make a long story short, I didn't eat dinner before going. I had too much wine. I threw up in their bathroom. I was so out of it that I don't remember parts of it. However, the wife of my teammate was taking care of me the whole time, with him hovering over me in the bathroom. This was only the second time that I had met her, and she was holding me while I threw up, hugging me, rubbing my back, and comforting her. So, I guess in a sense I made a new friend, but that's not exactly how I meant to go about it. Someone called Justin for me and told him to pick me up. When he got there it was very chaotic and crazy because everyone was running around trying to find my coat and purse and they were all pretty drunk themselves. He was also really worried about me because of the fact that I didn't call him, and because of the fact that the hostess of the party met him at the car and said I was so sick that she thought I would need to go to the hospital. What a complete embarrassment and a complete nightmare. I didn't actually have that much to drink, but it was because I hadn't eaten dinner. I am so humiliated that I did that at a party with people that I work with--who does that? Normally, when I am with people I don't know well I am able to pace myself and keep myself from acting a fool, but apparently I can't keep myself from throwing up. Why am I incapable of acting like an adult? Why couldn't I have had just two glasses of wine? Why couldn't I have just let Justin pick me up at the designated time instead of calling him and telling him to pick me up later? Why did I even go without him?
I have decided, though, that my teammate's wife is the sweetest woman in the world. I kept saying how embarrassed and sorry I was while the whole throwing up part was happening and she was so wonderful. She kept saying it happens to everyone (and both she and my teammate said that it had happened to them) and not to worry about it. She was also so caring to help me out like that. If she hadn't done that, I would probably have passed out on the bathroom floor or something. She also called me this morning to see how I was doing. I also called the hostess and apologized today and she was very nice about it. I am pretty sure, though, that I will not be invited to another party by anyone who was there. That's what makes me so mad at myself. I just feel like such a fuck-up. The whole point of this was to make friends, not to isolate myself as the drunken throw-up girl. I am just beyond embarrassed.
The staff Christmas party is coming up, and I am wondering if I will be able to go and redeem myself so everyone realizes it was a one-time thing. Or I might just not go. I really hope that people give me a second chance and don't think of me as a crazy nightmare forever.
In other news, Justin still hasn't gotten a job. I called three friends today. I have no lesson plans for next week yet. I have nothing to look forward to but Christmas Break. Life sucks today.
