Things have been...interesting. After the whole seeing-Jose-with-his-married-date incident, he suddenly went back to calling me all the time. He said he was going to wait for me to call him, since I wasn't sure that we could stay friends. Well, he didn't call me Sunday, but then he called Monday and has called me pretty much every day since. It was all very friendly, but he definitely seemed as if he suddenly had a renewed interest. And of course I was a little bit annoyed that he hadn't waited for me to call him like he said, but I was also happy to hear from him because I like him. So...we hung out as friends, but of course that didn't work out so well when we are both attracted to each other. So who knows where we stand right now, but I guess I'm just going with it. I know what I am getting myself into, so I totally am aware of how things will play out. I am still going to try to go out and meet other people, and hopefully I will find someone else to date. I had so much fun hanging out with him, and I do feel like there is a reason that we keep coming back together, but I do know that he is not my dream guy either. And if it goes back to feeling more bad than good then I will stop doing it.
School has been going pretty well. We have conferences, which I am really not looking forward to. I hate talking to parents.
I joined a book group so I have less than a week to read this book that I haven't even started. Hopefully I can get it done. It is called Crabwalk. I still haven't been able to get my stupid booklist to work again.
We took the kids on a field trip today, and it was so much fun. It was a reward field trip, so it was all good kids, and they were just awesome. This year is flying by (it always flies after Spring Break). I can't believe it is almost summer. I was starting to freak out the other day about how lonely I am, and how during the summer I will be even more lonely, but I will probably find ways to keep myself busy. I decided I am definitely not teaching summer school. I just don't want to. I have a class that I have to finish online, too, and that will take some of my time up. I also do have a few teacher friends who I can hang out with, so I won't be completely alone. Hopefully it will all work out okay. I just get upset sometimes when I feel like I am alone a lot, but really I am not alone that much. I usually hang out with friends a few times a week and then Justin or Jose at least once a week, too. I also see my mom at least three times a week. I guess it's just sometimes hard to live alone after having someone around all of the time.
There's some work drama going on that I don't feel like talking about. It has been pretty stressful, though. Hopefully it will all work out fine.
I've been pretty happy, but I hate the feeling that things might come crashing down around me again anytime. I just want to have fun and not worry, but that's not exactly in my nature. I want more, but I can't have it, so I'm settling as usual. It's in a different way, but it is still settling. I don't like the feeling of sort of letting myself down, but I also don't like the feeling of letting him go.
Things to look forward to: Snow Patrol, Summer Vacation, and seeing my sister when she comes home.
