Things have been good, I've just been busy and haven't felt like writing. The best thing is that I am getting a new digital camera. Sometimes I worry about myself and how I spend too much time on the internet, but I think it is amazing how you can connect with other people you don't even know who live across the country. Nicole, who I know only from her online journal, spent a ton of time helping me figure out what the best camera to buy for my needs are, and where to get the best deal online. I asked her because I knew she was really into photography and takes great photos, and I think it is so cool that she was willing/able to help me. Anyway, I am going to get a Canon A95 camera, and I am so excited for it to arrive!
Speaking of which, I have a flickr account under the name msboombastic for anyone who doesn't know. I will probably be posting more pictures when I get my camera. If you want to see pictures of me or my friends/family, you have to add me as a contact because I put those pictures as visible only to contacts.
Things with Ben are pretty good. He is way too busy with basketball, but we are still seeing each other regularly (not as often as I want, but I guess I will live). We had a status of the relationship talk last week because I was feeling neglected, and he even saw some of my freaking out mode, and he still wants to be with me. That is more than I can say for the last two guys I was with--any sign of emotion on my part and they freaked out. So that was really, really good. I thought maybe we would break up, but he was very clear that he likes me still and wants to be with me.
I'm actually thinking of using his real name on here because now I always think of him as "Ben" and I am afraid I am going to call him that! That would not be good, although I told him that he reminds me of someone named Ben just in case.
My friend Mandy is visiting her family, so we haven't been walking the last few days. We beat our record on Monday when we walked over 12,000 steps. That was good. I am pretty lonely without her, though, because I got used to having the routine of going for a walk and hanging out every day. Oh well.
Justin just called and said that he got a promotion and raise at work! It was a pretty significant raise so I am really happy for him. Now if they would just give him medical insurance...
I haven't been in many situations where someone is trying to get me to cheat when I am in a relationship, but any time that I have been in that situation (usually with alcohol involved), I pretty much have failed the test and cheated. I have sometimes wondered if it is because I have a cheating flaw as a person ("once a cheater, always a cheater",) or if it was the alcohol, or if it was my low self-esteem that caused me to look for affirmation any way that I could get it, even if it cost me a lot in the process. When I'm talking about cheating I'm saying for example, a guy wants to kiss me when I'm drunk and I let him, even though I have a boyfriend. I'm not talking about having sex or having a continuous affair behind someone's back, but it still is not good. Anyway, like I said, it hasn't happened that often, but it has happened even when I really, really care about someone (I cheated on my first love). WELL. The reason I bring all of this up is that on Sunday Justin and I went out and had a few drinks (I had three strong drinks). We got into a situation where he started trying to put the moves on me. Surprisingly enough, I kind of wanted to respond (which means what? I thought I wasn't attracted to him anymore.) But I am glad to say that I thought about Ben and how awful I would feel about it, and I told Justin that I couldn't cheat on Ben. I think it is the first time that I have resisted temptation, and I am really proud of myself. Yes, I just did what you are supposed to do in that situation, but like I said I haven't always been able to do that. I don't know if it means that Ben is the one for me, or if I am becoming a better person, or what. But I'm glad.
