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2002-05-06 - 11:30 p.m. Last night I took a sleeping pill. It seemed to work pretty well. Don't worry, I won't be making a habit of it (as it is "non-habit forming" ha ha). I just was lying there awake at 2:00 AM wondering when I would fall asleep. I had been in bed for at least three hours or so, and had read for awhile. So anyway. Hopefully this won't happen again. I watched Boston Public. I thought Lauren Davis looked really beautiful with her hair up and should always wear it that way. I wish I looked good with my hair up, but alas, I have a tiny head that is too small for my body. I also don't buy it that she would go out with Scott on a date. Maybe a pity date, but not a real date. The thing I really like about this show, even though it is cheesy and dorky most of the time, is when they get into emotions between Scott and Steven. Also just Scott in general and how lonely he is. I was not down with hook lady whatsoever, though. I only really half watch it now, because it doesn't keep my interest much. I don't know if I mentioned this before, but I have become strangely obsessed with Everybody Loves Raymond. I always thought it would be a really dumb show, so never watched it. Then Justin's mom of all people, started watching it on the reruns, and I realized it is the funniest show ever. So it's my new favorite show. It's really weird how they don't really have many classic sitcoms left anymore. Whenever they do, they get cancelled, so this show is a pretty good show because it just makes you laugh. But also I like how they all drive each other crazy, so it's sort of true to life. I hope marriage isn't that bad. They seem happy, but unhappy. I hope marriage is better than that. I am being so eloquent. I especially like my last quote, "They seem happy, but unhappy." That is so like what one of my students would write in their papers. I try and try, but the kids are the worst writers in the world. Even on test essay questions, half the time I have to infer what they are trying to say. I hope whoever we hire for the English position will be a great writing teacher. Hey, I faced one of my fears today. Our vice principal is retiring, and so I took this opportunity to ask him for a letter of recommendation. I was pretty proud of myself. He said he will have it to me by next week. YES YES YES! I really want one from my principal as well, but I'm going to wait until next year for that one. I absolutely hate asking for stuff like that. I especially hate it because I had some bad experiences with my mentor teacher (the one that I did my student teaching with). Most of the things were out of my control, and not my fault, but I still ended up with a subpar recommendation letter from her. It really sucked. She didn't say anything bad about me, and she said a lot of the cool stuff I had done, but she never really said anything like, "Ms. Boombastic will be a great teacher." The whole thing was very hurtful and everyone thinks a lot of it had to do with her being pregnant and hormonal because up until nearly the end she had been totally supportive of me and acted like I was doing a great job. But anyway, that's over and done with and I need to let go. It's just that sometimes I think that maybe she was right and that I actually suck. I guess it was just one of those situations where I felt completely hurt and betrayed, and it didn't help my already-low-self confidence, either. Anyway, I do think that my recommendation letter will be fine from my VP, because he wrote a nice write up of what his classroom visitation was like. So we'll see. I am really worried about what kind of VP we will have next year because one of the things I really appreciate about our VP now is that he is totally supportive of whatever you want to happen to the kid, even if it is unorthodox. I made one punishment that the kid had to write a letter to me about his plan for getting along with me in class. Also, I like it that he doesn't make the kids apologize to the teachers for being a big pain. So if you get an apology, you know it is sincere. :) I need to get more senior pictures from the kids--last year I had more at this time. The ones that have given me their pictures have written such sweet things on them. Not to brag, but I did have a few, "You were my favorite teacher!" written on them. Not to gloat or anything! :) :) :) I'm trying out the optional fields to see how that works out, so we'll see. Does anyone know how to get google to stop coming to my page?!?!? I added all of the meta tags but still I keep getting these google hits for such lovely items as: Teachers getting nasty, McDonalds nasty, and soynuts. I don't want these random perverts (and health food nuts, for that matter) coming to my page.
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