My roommate is really pissing me off. I asked her on the first about the money on the counter. Again, no apologies, she says that she is going to kill her bank blah blah something about maybe verizon double charged her for her new phone she just bought, and she needs to go talk to them. I said that she was welcome to use my computer to check her online banking to see what was going on. She said she would love to, then got on and talked about how her password wasn't working and stuff. I don't know if she is just bullshiting me, but it felt like it. Anyway, she said she would just talk to them the next day. Well, the next day (the second now) she told me that she is going to change banks, and it was verizon that double charged her, but the bank said that she had to talk to them on Monday. I said, "Are you going to have the rent money by the fifth?" (Because my apartment complex has a rule that you have five days to pay after the first, then it is a fifty dollar fee, and I think that is typical...I already paid her part of the rent, because I didn't want anyone ruining my perfect rental record, but I thought that was a pretty good rule to go by--it has to be given to me by the fifth). She said she would have it before the fifth because she was going to ask her dad for the money. Well. I didn't see her at all on Saturday, and it looks like she hasn't been home since (avoiding me?)...so she definitely did not have the money before the fifth like she told me. When she comes home today I am going to have to talk to her about it, especially if she doesn't have the money. I know she is thinking that I already paid the rent so don't need the money immediately, I can cover it, which is true, but I paid a credit card bill that was due on the fifth with her money in mind--I paid 400 instead of 100. So...I do need the money and it pisses me off that I should be fronting money for a girl that I have known all of a month. I felt I was pretty firm with her last month and she had assured me that rent would be on time or early in the future and that it would not be something to worry about...um, yeah. She also advertised in her ad that she pays her bills on time. Interesting. Things happen to everyone, but rent is always first. And I know for a fact that the phone that she bought was $60.00, so even if it was a double charge, that is still $120--not a whole $200.00 that remained that she owed me. Anyway, the thing that I hate the most is that she didn't say sorry at all. Obviously I got a roommate because I need someone to help me pay the bills. I can't believe how inconsiderate people are...but I guess this won't work out if she can't get it together. I mean, she has been here for two months and now has paid rent late two months--two for two.
Chad's roommate got fired from his job (my British cat's owner) and so it looks like he isn't even going to try to get him back from me. I love my British cat, and he has warmed up to me, but I still am worried about him wanting to go outside. He wakes me up every night with his meowing, too. Poor little guy.
This also means that Chad is going to be looking for a place in the next month instead of in August like he thought. He is looking for roommates, and of course he joked about how I need to kick my roommate out and he can move in. I wish that we were actually in that place instead of where we are (broken up). Oh well. I just need to get over this and that probably means just stopping all contact...my sister said something that resonated with me when she was here. I was talking about Chad's teeth whitening suggestion (long story, but basically he was trying to hint that we should both use teeth whitening and it was really rude and uncalled for and I was like, "NO ONE ELSE WOULD PUT UP WITH THIS SHIT!" and she asked me why *I* think I should put up with it.) I didn't put up with it, exactly, because I probably got more angry with him than I ever have and actually ended up hanging up on his stupid, rude ass, which I never do because it's horrible to hang up on someone...but that, along with him implying that I had gained weight before (I had gained weight, but I still was thin by any normal standard)...it's just too much. And especially because of the fact that we're not even together and he's saying my teeth are yellow. Whatever. I did eventually forgive him, but he needs some major lessons in subtlety.
Anyway, why am I putting up with this shit? Why is it that I talked myself into stopping by his house on the way to the gym to see if he wanted to work out with me, when I forbid myself from seeing him unless I ran into him there? Why is it that afterward I let him talk me into coming over to have dinner, and then of course I let him talk me into spending the night? Do I completely lack self control? Apparently. Here is someone who has broken up with me countless times, has made it extremely clear that he does not want to be in a relationship with me, and yet I continue to go back. Why?
I'm so caught up in how it was and then how it almost was that I just let myself believe that it will be that way, when clearly it will not be. And either I can tell him that it is really over or he can tell me AGAIN and FOR REAL. I'm so sick of this. Why can't he just love me?
I did see Over the Hedge, which I thought was really cute. It's no Shrek or Finding Nemo, but I really liked it.
On a more positive note, I'm feeling better about my work drama. We went on a cool field trip today and I had fun with the kids. We had it organized into groups and I had 10 kids to lead around. Some of them were driving me crazy, but for the most part we had fun. I have this new girl in my class that has been there for about three weeks or so now and she is just such a joy. She is so funny and fun and she and two of my other girls make me laugh and laugh.
There are four more actual days of school for the kiddies, which means I will see each group two more times. We have conferences and Oak's Park, too, but we are done next week. I can't wait.
Working out is still going well, although I have been eating horribly. I started keeping a food journal with my friend and we are going to trade them each week to keep each other accountable...I'm going to be pretty embarrassed, but it's good. A few people (Chad, Justin, and my sister) commented that I look thinner. I haven't lost any weight, really (a few pounds) and I don't feel like my clothes fit better. I don't feel like I look much different (maybe my stomach is a little smaller), but I guess I will choose to believe that I look better. Chad, who sees me in a bathing suit at the gym, says I look like I have lost weight and look really good...so...I do really like working out now.
I just got my hair cut and colored, so that feels good. I had this cute guy coming to the door earlier...he was also named Chad. I signed the petitions to get stuff on the ballot (all sounded like good ideas). I thought briefly about hitting on him, but I don't even know how to do that. I think the name Chad is now on the list of bad guy names anyway...
I went to the mall and lunch with Justin on Saturday, which was pretty good. He did try to buy something for me (clothes or something) but I said that wouldn't be appropriate. That was the only really uncomfortable part. He's been working on being nicer and not guilt tripping me anymore. It's actually fun to hang out with him again.
I guess that's about all that is going on with me...I did go to a game night with my coworkers on Friday, and it was fun and diverting, but I would have rather been with Chad. I'd always rather be with him. :(
