So how do you know if you have it bad for a boy? Here's my sign: I save their voicemail messages. I also save movie stubs. I even save little slips of paper that they wrote directions on. So yeah, I still have it bad.
That's so high school, I know, but I bet I'll do it until I'm a little old lady. I'm sentimental or something.
I'm sad today. Things have been alright, but today doesn't feel that great.
So on Thursday Jose called me up and said he was going downtown to watch a basketball game. I was going to go downtown later that night to meet Ava for the concert. So he said I should come early and meet him...and of course I did. I am so weak. I did not envision being friends with him so soon, but at the same time...I just felt like going. I am so bad for myself, I guess. So I went and met him and we had a beer, then we went to the bar where I was meeting Ava. So we hung out for a few hours basically. And it was fine. It was fun hanging out with him, but a little weird overall. And we had the conversation AGAIN (the last time, I swear) about why he wants to stay friends with me so badly and why he doesn't want to be with me. Such a great conversation. I still feel things between us, but I guess he doesn't. I just don't get it. He goes on and on about how he wants to stay friends with me because people like me don't come along that often. How I'm so real (not fake) and down to earth and we have so much fun together and we have such great conversations and we can go have a burger or go to a really nice place and I seem to be down to try anything (um, no, but apparently I gave him that impression). So of course I am like, "And WHY don't you want to be with me?" I get it, I guess, but I can't stop.
So Ava got to meet him, too, when she arrived. She said she thought there seemed to still be chemistry between us, and you never know what could happen. I really wonder what he thinks. Like does he think we are really going to just be friends now? Are we? Is he really completely over me, or is he just keeping me on reserve for when he gets lonely or changes his mind?
Anyway, we talked Wednesday, then he called me Thursday, Friday and Saturday. So not only does he seem to want to be friends, he seems to want to be BEST FRIENDS. Maybe I should just tell him I need some time to get over him. We'll see if he calls me tonight. We also have plans to see Ben Lee in a few weeks--I invited him and Ava to go. It was kind of impulsive to invite him (not to invite Ava, I already asked her)...and I've asked him a couple times if he is sure he wants to go, and I guess he is.
Anyway, I don't know what the hell I'm doing with him.
The concert itself was fun, and was better than I thought it would be. I liked the music when I heard it, but I liked it even better live. I had a lot of fun with Ava, too.
Despite having about five hours of sleep due to the concert, I went to happy hour with two of my friends on Friday. It was pretty fun. It is officially spring break, but writing scoring started on Saturday, and goes until Thursday, so that's what I have been doing. It's pretty intense. We had a two day training session and we had to take a test to qualify, but the actual scoring starts tomorrow. They also have a lot of snacks so I am trying to resist. I will not eat any more giant muffins! Luckily, today they had more healthy snacks like carrots and pretzels. A lot of people went out to eat, but I was good and brought my lunch. I will the rest of the week, too. I wonder when we get paid for it?
I also went to dinner with my mom yesterday, but basically I haven't done all that much since I've been working. I'm supposed to hang out with my friend Mandy on Monday or Tuesday. I really want to see The Ring 2, but I am stuck because I want to see it with Jose. But I don't want to invite him. And I don't want to bring it up and try to hope he'll invite me. And I don't want to see a movie with him when I don't get to hold his hand. This sucks.
I really want to go do something today, but I don't want to do anything with anyone that I can ask. I just want to hang out with him. Why did things have to end?
The other thing is that there was this guy who teaches at the high school that my middle school feeds into. I think he's kind of cute, and fits my type (although he is a little bigger--like football player type with a few extra pounds). Anyway, I started talking to him about the kids he has since he has ninth graders and I knew them as eighth graders. I was hoping that I would be able to talk to him more and try to get him to fall in love with me, but instead we got split into groups by grade level. We are all in different rooms so I will never see him again. So there goes that idea. I'm not really the best at trying to flirt with someone when I don't know if they are interested anyway. So it probably wouldn't have happened. I was kind of grasping at straws on that one.
