Everyone at work is sick, and now I'm getting sick, too. Losing my voice and everything. Luckily Friday is statewide inservice day so I have a day of rest. I was actually signed up for this work retreat, but I decided not to go and then it got cancelled, so there you go.
Tomorrow I will be 27 years old. I don't know how I feel about that. I feel better about it than I felt about being 26, but it is scary to be that much closer to 30. Oh well.
I am happy to say that I finally exercised again. I went on this walking trail with my friend from work, which was really great because it made the time go so much quicker. She tries to go a lot, so I can go with her pretty much anytime. I will try to go at least a few times a week with her since it is better than staying at home by myself and exercising. I should try to make arrangements with my other friend who lives nearby, too. We'll see.
Last night was rough. I talked to Justin on the phone for the first time in about a week, and told him I wouldn't be seeing him on my birthday, which made him sad. It's not that I don't want to spend time with him but it is too hard for now, and not the healthy decision, etc. It is supposed to be more hard for ME not to see him on MY BIRTHDAY than for HIM not to see me on MY BIRTHDAY, right? But no. He's hurt. So then I started thinking more last night about how things will never be the same between us, and even though I don't want to go back to him, it is still so hard to think about that. Even if we got back together things would never be the same, for various reasons I can't go into right now. I miss the security. I miss knowing that I have someone who loves me the best and knows me better than anyone else. I miss just lying in his arms at night. There are many, many things that I don't miss, but right now it is hard to think about all the good parts I am losing.
Sometimes it just hits me like, "WHAT HAVE I DONE?" There are no take-backs in this situation, and I truly know I don't want to do that, but...it's hard.
I bought a few new clothes and a new picture for my wall on Sunday. I need to add some decorations because my place is starting to depress me. I have at least been keeping it clean, though, which is nice. For the first time in my life I got a 24 hour entry notice from the apartment complex and did not panic about having to clean up so they don't think I am a slob. Yay for clean houses.
I really like my students this year. I really, really do. I liked the kids last year, but these kids are even more easy-going and less high strung. They are just nice kids. I didn't have to write my first referral for over three weeks, and the referrals I wrote were just for talking way too many times (we have a referral system that includes our detention system, so it is like writing a detention when it is a more minor infraction). So that says something about how great these kids are.
My eyes have started to hurt from looking at the computer screen lately, so I had better get off of here.
